Jari's Transafrican Blog

Flashbacks from Tanzania

2010-12-02T05:04:00.000-08:00

While cleaning up the laptop I found an entry that had slipped past for some reason.

Place: Mafinga

Tunes: New Order, Rammstein, Metallica, Underworld

Wildlife along the roads.

Shoes for everyone.

Ruts on asphalt. These are interesting to ride through I can tell you.

A man's best friend?

We rode some motorcycles today. Most of the roads were under construction/renovation. The Danes are paying for these ones for a change. The road condition in general was pretty shit to be honest. The old ones were falling apart and the new ones were not ready. Add to this big big buses with psychopaths behind the wheel. I think they must have developed the means to drive a bus while wearing a straight jacket.

The main road went through a nature park and there we saw baboons and many giraffes. Good times for photos but the camera was out of juice, so no luck. On the road we did see some wildlife. Very rare but hard as nails Danish concrete pigs. Even the hardest predators in Africa leave these beasts alone. Once you play with fire and pass between two of them for enough times you can become complacient. With my extra wide load I did.

These concrete pigs bite if you get too close to them and one brutally attacked me. As a result my panniers are fucked up again, the fuel canisters were destroyed and my arms would be broken for sure if it was not for my power rangers armour shirt. Normal business, but annoying as the panniers have to be covered in plastic bags in case of rain and dust. They were ok for several days since Nairobi, but it was not to be. The day would have been too boring without a little drama, so I should charge Peter for this shit and possibly seek a career as a stuntman. This pannier circus has been a constant source of much amusement for us.

We are getting pretty good at this ”almost in formation” driving. At some point we were in between two or three lorries going uphill and there was incoming traffic. Once that lorry went past, eight bikes – simultaneously – swithched to the incoming lane at full throttle. It looked like a pride of lions attacking some big buffaloes. Beautiful.

We managed to find a good hotel in the middle of nowhere and you can find the best barber shop (for men or women) in Africa here. Just ask Ari. The restaurant was another interesting experience where clueless people pretending to know what they were doing were running an actual restaurant. Most of the people present were staff of course and maybe one person in five had something to do with the service or preparing the food today (we were the only customers). Again, this is Africa.

That's it for now

2010-11-25T02:14:00.000-08:00

Place: Cape town Airport

Tunes: Imagine what an airport sounds like.

I am writing this at the airport. Today was pointless as there was nothing else to do than to pack and wait. Everyone is a bit anxious to get home so that there’s not much going on. The hotel managed to make a mess of all the arrangements for checking out a little later. Peter left first and the Istanbul gang was to follow. Me and Teijo decided to take the same ride, even if our flights were on much later.

I was in for a surprise at the airport. The evening flight of 00:55 to Amsterdam seems to be the only KLM flight of the day. This means that I can only check in my luggage after nine pm. By the time I discovered this, most of the others had already gone across past security. Why change old habits as we made it all the way here doing the things we do. In any case, it was a nine hour wait for me. Teijo and Ari kept me company for quite some time but all good things come to an end and off they went.

Nine hours of waiting gives you a ”feel” of the airport and the sights and sounds therein. If hear any more pointless ”African Atmosphere” music ever again, I will be sick. The shops were exactly the same as in any international airport with exactly the same things for sale.

This is the end of this blog – for now. Some things remain still not finished. The bike will be shipped to Helsinki and presented on the big motorcycle fair in February. From this fair I will somehow try and get the bike on the ferry to Travemunde in Germany and ride it home from there. The ride from the fair centre to the harbour can be a bit tricky if there is a proper winter in Helsinki. Germany should be easier, but you never know.

Then there is also the matter of repairing the motorcycle. It would be cheaper to buy a new one than it would to take this one to the BMW dealer and tell them to fix it. So, I will do everything that I can and leave the difficult stuff for them. After this, what happens to the bike? Time will tell.

Some people will ask how was the whole experience? Was it a life-changing turning point in my life? Will I now move to Africa and start an orphanage or donate all of my non-existent future earnings to charity?

To answer these questions I will say this. If you read blogs and books about this kind of thing it kind of sets the bar of expectations pretty high. Everyone underlines the positive and leaves out the negative. If you have made this huge effort, you have to show your friends, family and sponsors just how profound, enjoyable and "huge" the experience was. If you cannot do this, you have "done it wrong" somehow. I definately feel that I "did it wrong" as I did not find enlightenment in Africa.

The rhythm we got into, the long days riding and writing this blog made sure that we did not really have time to do that much on the places we went into. We had no contact with any locals apart from a couple of occasions as we did not know anyone there and if you looked at the cities or villages, there was absolutely nothing there that you would want to have anything to do with. Add to this the poverty, chronic inefficiency of everything, corruption problems and massive amounts of plain stupidity and there you go. There are plenty of things not to like. Sad but true and this is probably why this blog is a bit one-sided. Some conversations with other travellers and people on the road, lorry/van drivers, some fixers and hotel/restaurant staff were filled with good humour and genuine curiosity. These conversations were very enjoyable, but most of the time there is always a catch. Someone wants something from you. Especially in the Middle East.

Most people were acting with some kind of logic that I could not comprehend because it made no sense whatsoever. Apparently we should have somehow adjusted to ”African time”. What this precisely is eludes me as it cannot be defined or measured in any way. In Europe shit gets done when it is supposed to. In Africa it might get done if someone feels like doing it, but if not then that’s ok too. Shit might also get done at some unspecified point in the future. Maybe. And when shit gets done, you don't touch that shit anymore. Ever. No maintenance, no anything. There is a certain difference in the standard of living between Europe and Africa. Maybe there is a correlation here?

The single most enjoyable thing was of course the riding. Sometimes it was dull and an airconditioned Land Rover would have been bliss, but most of the time it was excellent. When the road and scenery were just right and you could ride at your own pace without worrying too much, it was the most fun you could have with your pants on.

This trip was an experience that I will not easily forget. It has changed my perception of the world in some way. In ”first world” countries we have things very well sorted out and some of the alleged problems we have in our societies seem even more ridiculous now than they did before and trust me, that takes some convincing. We should really appreciate what the previous generations have built for us here and try to keep what we have.

Would I recommend doing this trip to others? If you are insane and they have not taken your licence away, then maybe you would enjoy it. Based on what I have read and experienced, it is a mixed bag. Africa will not leave anyone cold, I can promise that. You will love it and you will hate it and you will have an adventure. You will have stories to tell.

To get more than that, ask someone else that can convince you would be my answer I guess. Read Ted Simon’s and Sam Manicombe’s books and you will get a slightly different perspective on the whole thing. Or if you prefer something better, read the KCCD blog (http://www.kccd.no/blog_no.html) for a more contemporary and manly story.

As for practical things; first of all take less than half the amount of shit I took with you. Knowing what I know now I would still take the 800cc BMW. I would put on all the stuff I put on mine and a better rear shock, different ( much smaller) panniers, a better seat (the corbin seat looks sweet), a cruise control thing and an exhaust that does not sound like a lawnmower. I would take a smaller waterproof duffle bag and a better tank bag. A day bag pack is a good thing to have around and there are some small ones out there that are really compact. Less than 20 litres is the way to go. Waterproof kit I did not have after I sent the gore layers from the BMW suit away. A million thanks to Jukka for borrowing his spare rain overalls. I had a poncho but I looked like batman wearing it at 100kph.

Also learn how to ride off-road. Unless you plan to have some common sense and go only after 2013 or thereabouts as then the whole route will be paved (apart from the roads to Lailibela, but you can take a bus for that).

The KTM 900 Adventure whatever is recommended by some people but it is pig-ugly and it requires a lot of maintenance. And some skill to ride. If you have that skill and do the maintenance it is no doubt faster and better than the beemer. Apart from the thousands of kilometres of perfectly good roads you will be riding on. After all the roads are paved and you do not plan to go off-road, the big GSA 1200 may be the perfect bike for this trip as it is so comfy on big roads and has a big tank. Or you might as well take the RT with the same engine.

As a general conclusion, I would say keep your panniers as wide as your handlebar or less. You need maybe 60 litres total in your tank bag plus waterproof duffle bag. Do you need a tail bag? Not really. But it is really handy to have around, but in terms of weight distribution it is shit. The tank bag is like your office desk. So, take great care in choosing and organising the one you want. One last thing I want to say is that you should take soft luggage another look. It will not break as easily as hard stuff, it weighs less, is easier to repair and it will not destroy your ankles.

Thanks to everyone for their comments and for bothering to read all this. More nonsense to follow in February.

And last but definately not the least a bug thanks to Ari, Markus, Teijo, Pasi, Jukka, Pekka and Peter Pan Bike for this adventure. Hope to see you in Helsinki!

To Cape Town or whatever

2010-11-23T18:20:00.001-08:00

Place: Cape town

Tunes: None

The bike ready to go for the last trip.

There were times when I did not see myself putting this sticker here. But you can be sure that without Peter this trip would have been less eventful.

This was our steed for the day. Boring but practical.

A village on the coast with some wasrhips. Get your ostrich eggs here!

Scenery from the coastal road.

Cliffs and scenery.

More nice scenery, cliffs and little aeroplanes.

The cape of good hope (on the beach).

Everywhere you look, there are a lot of sea birds.

Teijo spotted a new Peugeot model that's not yet available in Finland.

Today we packed the bikes for the last time and took care of the last bit of ”official” business as we took them away to the shipping agent - in the usual manner of course. Well, almost in the usual manner as no-one ran out of fuel. There was still some space left in the panniers and definitely in the container for big and heavy souvenirs and wine crates that we did not have time to shop.

The rest of the day was spent doing the usual tourist activities, such as shopping for big and heavy things. This tourism thing we have reluctantly become accustomed to. The Waterfront in Cape town is the tourist centre of the city and there are more shops selling wooden hippos than anyone could ever need. The prices are also what you can expect from such a place. Never ever buy anything from this place. They also had a brewery there and life was good. We even spotted a turbocharged Hayabusa! That was one manly bike, except the paint job was shit.

My main objective in Cape town shopping-wise was to find a pair of kudu antlers (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kudu), but no luck at all. The tinternet might help in finding a pair but no bike anymore, so sod it.

Day 2

Sightseeing at the Cape of Good Hope and enroute was on the menu today. We found some more souvenirs with a fraction of the price they were at the Waterfront. Never buy anything in the Waterfront shops! Also we found some very very nice beach roads and it seems that the coast around here is full of them. Some amateur motorcyclists on rented BMW’s passed us at some point. Us pro’s take our own bikes!

The only interesting South African there was an ostrich that acted like a lion amongst the cars. No fear nor common sense, just complete disregard, arrogance and stupidity. Actually, forget the lion, but compare it to a fat Egyptian man crossing the road anywhere south of Luxor. I find it difficult to find a difference, except the ostrich can run.

At the cape, there was not that much to see. Many desolate fields of rocks and steep cliffs. It could have been in Norway. Or maybe my head has been saturated with too many great scenic views of the coast. Maybe this is a sign that it is time to go home and reset. We found a couple of shops selling rocks for Pekka and promptly some rocks were purchased. Perfect for air travel, big and heavy. I am sure there is room in Peter’s suitcase.

The evening was spent strolling around in the centre looking at people riding bicycles on their heads. The “proper” centre looks ok and the restaurants and bars etc are nice, but on the street there are plenty of beggars, pimps, drug-dealers, obvious criminals and other hangers around. No police to be seen.

After the last ostrich steak and on the way back to the hotel, the streets had turned very noisy and there was definitely a party atmosphere. The number of criminals had also multiplied and there was a definite tension in the air as well that you better watch out if you get a bit tipsy. The problem we have every day on this trip is that you have a meal in the evening and when there is a good time to party you are tired and falling asleep. This also happened today, so no parties today and we simply went back to the hotel.

Penguin hunting

2010-11-23T18:20:00.000-08:00

Place: Cape town

Tunes: Nightwish, Armin van Buuren

The new stickers are on and we are good to go.

Scenery from the morning.

Some old planes were also looking for whales.

Closeup.

We found a penguin.

Many penguins actually.

In the mid-day sun also birds rest.

More of the colony.

And still more.

These guys would fit right in.

Professional adventure motorcyclists just take the helmet off and go for a swim. Ride off immediately after.

The coastal road was full of stops like this one for taking pictures.

Pictures do not do the coastline justice.

The waterfront.

Nothing is allowed in this building. Not even trainers!

The famous clocktower on the waterfront.

After last evenings partying this morning was easy. Scenic routes (of dear, here we go again) to Cape town. Now that the Cape is conquered, we will try to find a penguin to take a picture of. These two things have been the overall goal of this whole trip for me.

And penguins we did find! Quite a lot of them actually. Along the costal whale watching route there happened to be a penguin colony. It was of course fenced off and payment was demanded to see the colony. No penguins were seen outside the fenced area even if they were quite cramped inside it. Clever them penguins. It would seem that they are not that active in the middle of the day, like most of the wild animals we saw before. Apparently you can also spot whales from the shore but we did not see any.

So, that’s two boxes ticked out of two. Mission accomplished and this calls for some penguin beers.

After this penguin excursion we headed to Cape Town on some beach roads. This particular road was perfect. Rocky beaches, steep cliffs, perfect tarmac, perfect weather and amazing scenery to ride through. It was not unlike Norway, but the scenery was not as desolate and you got to ride higher up on the roads cut into the steep stone walls. The 50km we rode on this road was magnificent and it was the best road of this trip, no doubt about that. The music complemented the scenery beautifully and I can recommend this combination to everyone who wants to live, not simply exist.

Tarmac can indeed bring you happiness, but too much traffic here unfortunately, so no racing in this scenery. This was an excellent way to finish the riding on trip.

As we got closer to Cape Town (and the road turned inland), the road got ”ordinary” and eventually boring and the traffic got heavier. Not far from the city there are just miles and miles of slums and the motorway went straight through them. In Cape Town itself the scenery is excellent and is dominated by Table Mountain. It is mostly covered in clouds, or clouds are kind of ”rolling off” the mountain. The traffic is not too bad but as there are a lot of cars, one has to look where one is going. The hotel is nice with the shower unit right next to the beds. At least the toilet is in a separate room. This place is still in Africa unfortunately and Jukka had to file a report over some money missing from his wallet after a housekeeper had visited the room.

The restaurant where we went for dinner was basically a hippie paradise of some sort with an African twist. Usually I avoid this kind of places and encourage others to do so by throwing Molotov cocktails through the windows, but not now. At least the place was remotely interesting with some made up ethnic food. I was a bit pissed off as I am still looking for a place to change my dollars to Rand as I have too many of the former and none of the latter.

Many jolly speeches were made and the wine was good. We all agreed that there are worse ways to spend ten weeks and that we did a good job in breaking so many traffic rules, regulations and speed limits without getting caught.

Tomorrow awe will have to say sad goodbyes to the bikes as they will be shipped to Helsinki in a container. On the shopping list I have a silver marker and a set of Kudu antlers, so it will be a busy morning.

It is done!

2010-11-19T13:40:00.000-08:00

Place: Cape l’Agulhas

Tune of the day: Free falling - Tom Petty

Other tunes: Nightwish, Gun

From Left to Right: me, Teijo, Markus, Pasi, Jukka, Ari and Pekka. Sitting down, Peter "Pan Bike" Ruotsalo. Cape Agulhas 17.11.2010.

This is as far as you can go with a bike. The reindeer antlers are still there.

This is the southernmost point. I have done it.

Peter has done it yet again.

Buddy photo.

Pekka has cought a motorcycle.

It was the bikes fault as usual.

That damn Honda is not even dirty after all this travelling!

Stickers from the start and the finish.

This adventure traveller did not make it.

How to begin a post like this? How to summarise the last nine weeks in a puchline?

Just to make it clear; we have now ridden from the northernmost point of continental Europe to the southernmost point of Africa. 22.000km or thereabouts. In about nine weeks and ahead of schedule. This is what we have achieved. In a nutshell, we fucking made it!

When you see that lighthouse next to the cape for the first time in the horizon, the feeling is something not easy to describe. You have the best feeling ever and you smile like a spanner. It has been good and it has been bad. Mostly it has been good as we have been on two wheels much of the time. As time goes by, the better it will get, so all is well...

We finally met up the guys who rode almost a thousand km yesterday and almost the same on the previous day to catch up on us. You can make good progress in these parts of Africa as the roads are good, there is no traffic and nothing to see in the countryside. We all arrived at the cape within a couple of minutes of each other, which was another example on how professional we are. Or it could have been just a coincidence...?

The last bit of riding to the cape was not too difficult apart from the wind. We were being thrown around by the wind like toys and just barely managed to stay on the right lane some of the time. This is most suitable as the winds in Nordkapp were quite something as well. No mist or rain here though.

In these conditions, some locals wanted to show us how they drive here. This was the ”overtaking without changing your lane” thing we have seen since Namibia. The biggest idiot was driving a grey VW and inched his way past us. This lasted in total for about ten minutes and the other (incoming traffic) lane had maybe three cars coming towards you during that time. He could have overtaken us easily and gotten back to the lane but chose to nearly run us off the road instead. That 9mm pistol would have been very handy yet again.

After taking many pictures at the Cape and in general just trying to take it all in, we found this little B&B place and chilled out.

This has been a great day any way you think of it. And we have a reason to be happy, no matter how hardy adventurer you might be. I believe some kind of a celebration involving beer and seafood is in order.

The adventure is over?

2010-11-19T13:37:00.000-08:00

Place: Stellenbosh

Tunes: Nine Inch Nails, VNV Nation

Today was very easy. 200km of driving, a late wake up and some nice scenery to ride through this time. The temperature was also lower than on the last couple of days. The hotel breakfast was shit, but let’s not let that bother us.

We rode through a lot of vineyards, which are very nice and tidy and scenic. It was like riding through a garden. This place is so far removed from anything we have seen in Africa so far. In Stellenbosh we found a nice guesthouse and spent some time buying souvenirs and strolling around. Much good wine was also consumed and the best bit was that it cost nothing at all. Everything we have eaten here was good and not very expensive. Nice place for tourism I have to say.

The boys from the diabled group finally cought up and Peter’s wrist is doing better. They were just as bored as we were from driving through Namibia and South Africa.

Today we also got a message from Pekka that he has broken a second rear shock of the trip with the 1200 GSA. An Öhlins shock this time, which should be the best thing money can buy for off-road riding. It seems that tree weeks in Africa is more than the shock could handle. Those off-road excursions are also getting expensive. This takes the total rear shock count to six.

The dinner in the evening was more than good. Excellent sole fish and a proper amount of it. For less than half of what it would cost in Belgium.

...

After reading the above text I realised that something is very wrong here. We are supposed to be in Africa, living in shit and in general we should do only manly things like proper adventure motorcyclists. This day in particular has been nothing like that. What the hell is going on? Are we softening up before the end? Or is there some kind of a massive fuck-up waiting for us before the cape?

So close you can almost taste it

2010-11-19T13:35:00.000-08:00

Place: Clanwilliam – in South Africa!

Tunes: Pritzker Military library podcasts. Iron Maiden.

Today was hot, boring, exhausting, and hot. After about 600km of this forty plus degree torture, we managed to find a hotel in the ghost town of Clanwilliam. This place is much further into South Africa than we planned, but when the going is good, you keep on going. From here there is only 200km to Cape town! The Cape is getting closer and closer. So close that you can almost taste it.

We saw some better scenery today also, such as mountains and some curves and corners that come together with said mountains. The only animals worth mentioning were these little rodents running across the road for no apparent reason. I guess they are just as bored as we are and are playing a game of chicken of some sort.

Getting across to South Africa was very easy with no nonsense or bullshit on the borders.

The hotel in Clanwilliam looks very nice and everything is as it should – in theory. At least the Antilope steaks were good. The staff seem to be a bit confused where you can charge things on the room and how you can pay. The hotel, the bar and the restaurant appear to be separate businesses with different systems.

The hiace team (Pasia and Peter) is following us but we have already won the first medal – first into South Africa. They will stay in Spingbok and will have a very long ride tomorrow to meet us in Stellenbosh.

Not to Sossuvei either

2010-11-19T13:30:00.000-08:00

Place: Keetsmanshoop ... maybe ... I got no idea.

Tunes: Armin van Buuren

This was our second and last day in Namibia. Tomorrow we will push across to South Africa.

Speaking of Africa, we are no longer in Africa. The roads are so good, the cars you see are are so new, there are shops and they have things there for sale and everything is tidy. And in general everything is less shit. The people also harass you much less and leave you to do your thing.

The day was long and boring. The Kalahari Desert is very hot and dull. Nothing grows there and we did not even see the desert proper. The most boring road in the world has a name – the Transkalahari Highway – so that you know to avoid it. The road was completely straight, with nothing fun worth mentioning. No animals of any sort. It was 36-40 degrees all through the day, which made everything even more miserable.

I am running out of fuel a bit too fast. I can only get about 320km per tank at about 110-115kph speed. This is worse than it should and it may have something to do with my ”naked” BMW design.

After the full day of riding, we found a lodge from the Garmin and everything looked peachy, except we had to try three different cottages until we got one with working aircon. In some hotels/resorts/whatever the staff actually checks these things, but not here. It's up to the guest. Visa is accepted – at least for paying the room, but not for the bar or for the restaurant.

The town itself is as dead as the desert and so is the ”resort” we are staying in. There was however good South African wine available and the food at the restaurant was edible with no complaints.

The gravel road from Windhoek to Sossuvei - that we decided not to take - was apparently quite difficult in places, with plenty of loose ”ball bearing” rocks and soft sand. We also got a word before lunchtime that Peter and Pasi had not gotten all the way to Sossuvei as Peter has a wrist injury and could not carry on the shit gravel road. Suckers! I knew it was going to end up in tears and we both thank Markus for his ”broken” rear shock. If not for that, we’d be there wrestling with the BMW’s, just like in Kenya.

Pekka, Teijo and Jukka will press on to Sossuvei on the gravel/sand roads regardless. Let's see if the Honda stays up all the way. This is pretty much the last time when there is a good chance of Teijo dropping the bike.

The longest day of driving

2010-11-18T08:44:00.001-08:00

Place: Windhoek

Tunes: Armin van Buuren, Ali & Fila

Today more good progress. Seven hundred and something km. We started in Maun and ended up in Windhoek in Namibia.

The border crossing to Namibia was a breeze. No stamp for the carnet as there is this customs zone thing with Botswana, Namibia and South Africa. So we only need to stamp the carnets when we take the bikes out of South Africa. This saves a lot of time for us so it’s all good.

There were no piss-ants, beggars or random people at the border station. What is going on? There are supermarkets, ATM’s, petrol stations and all sorts of things here. Are we even in Africa anymore?

There are fences on the sides of the roads keeping the animals away. Well, at least the cattle, which is a big improvement. What's next, speed camera's?

We saw very big antelopes jumping over the cattle fence with ease and warthogs – you gotta love these guys – scooting across the road and through tiny gaps in the fence without even slowing down. It looked like they were playing with fire – just for fun. Riding here feels a bit like a video game. Can you anticipate will the next little piggy hit you as it launches itself across the road on a perpendicular course to you.

Markus lost his rear shock today. On a flat straight road! So much for BMW reliability. He is now also bouncing around like the boys were in Kenya. Riding behind him, it looks pretty wild in the corners...

This is the reason why he has decided to skip the dunes and press on south. This was what I was planning also even if I have no problem with the bike. I do not want to ask for further trouble on those sandy gravel tracks to Sossuvei especially when we are so close to the finish. It's a pathetic decision to make, I know.

Ari decided to join us as he is also not looking forward to smashing his bike. So, the three of us will race towards Cape town and the off-road gang will go to Sossuvei, get stuck in the sand, break their bikes and swear a lot. We will win this race for sure as Markus can drive almost normally (= normal speed) on straight roads and there will be plenty of those ahead of us.

Peter had a little drop on the ramp to the hotel and damaged his wrist. Let’s hope it will not bother him too much. Those things can take forever to heal.

My rear tyre now so worn out that it must be replaced. It is just spinning no matter how gently I try and start moving (it is raining a little). The Continental has well and truly served its duty from Hurghuda. Thanks again to Gunnar for the tyre.

So, I changed my rear to the Anakee 2 I bought from Sweden with some help and the rear brake pads too. This was pretty much routine by now and it was more fun to do it now in the rain rather than in the sunshine yesterday.

Riding in Namibia in the countryside is dead easy and dead boring. The straights are loooong and there is basically no traffic. But in the cities it changes completely. The cars are new and the roads are good but people drive like complete idiots. Or maybe it is against the law to change the lane when you are overtaking. People have no concept of keeping a safe distance between themselves and you and we got the Middle Eastern experience again where people drive two centimetres from your panniers as they drive past. This time – unlike in the Middle East – they have plenty of space around them, but they still do it. Only in Africa can you still fuck up something as simple as this. This is not as dramatic as it may sound as we are already pretty used to it.

They also have these lights in random places on the road. There are red, yellow and green lights and I am sure every colour means something. I think I have seen these before somewhere but can’t remember where.

Windhoek looks like any European or American city pretty much except it’s dead quiet, even on a Saturday evening! It is nothing like the cities in Africa we have seen so far. I think it is fair to say that we have left Africa and entered something else.

Not a safari at the Okavango Delta

2010-11-16T09:19:00.000-08:00

Place: Maun

Tunes: The Cult, Velcra, Birthday Massacre

We (me and Ari) did not go to the Okavango safari as we have been on two safari's already for reasons explained before and had an easy morning instead.

To clarify, we could not get to the right place at the right time in the morning as we could not get there on the previous evening. As we had zero chance of getting here early enough, it made no sense to try and we could take it easy instead.

In Maun it took a while to find a new tyre for Ari and the hotel, but we managed to do both. Locals have no sense of direction or distance and asking for directions or distances does not always (or ever) work in Africa.

The Okavango safari apparently was ok with all the oohs and aahs you can expect, but based on what we were told, it was not as impressive as the crater was. So, we won the safari game with our lions.

At the hotel Ari changed his front tire and I repacked the panniers again. I also managed to fix the helmet finally to some degree. It has to last only another week and I think it will.

I should have changed my rear knobbly tire as it is showing some signs of wear, but the mid-day sunshine looked pretty inhospitable to be honest, so I skipped it.

So was the food at the hotel restaurant. Rubber chicken again and I was not amused. Apparently the ones we got were the only birds that were delivered to the restaurant today, so they had no choice but to prepare them for us. I think they still had the choice of serving this shit or saying that they have no good chicken. Greedy bastards. The fish we got after sending eight portions of chicken back to the kitchen was better. Pekka went out to find another restaurant.

In the meanwhile, Barry White had arrived to play an eight hour set. Reggae seemed to be his favourite, but cheesy pop and African tunes, such as George Michael's ”Careless Whisper” were on the menu. He was auditioning for the first time to become a resident of some sort, but still he could not once remember the name of the place he was in. What a pro. To give him credit where it was due, he must have played everything he knew non-stop several times over, every time giving it his everything. How he did not collapse from exhaustion is a mystery. And everybody had a good time, apart from some motorbicyclists.

After dinner the place filled up with party people and prostitutes who came to listen to Barry. We retired with earplugs on. It will be a long day tomorrow.

There be lions!

2010-11-13T22:07:00.001-08:00

Place: Gwenda

Tunes: CMX

Kittens playing. Deborah - no, you can't have one.

Getting a sniff.

And then wrestling. They bite too, which is not allowed in BJJ.

This cub stood still just long enough to take this picture. Look at the front paws, they are huge.

Another quiet moment with Ari.

Big jump.

Bigger cats handled under supervision.

Or sleepy cats handled without.

Something big lies just behind the corner.

And here they lie. A total of three two year old lions. Two females and one male.

No lions were harmed in taking this picture.

See, the lion is fine.

The only appropriate guide for the blind that adventurer overlanders coudl approve of. See the cane and the blind person walking behind.

Wake up at six for me and Ari. The rest left at eight. We needed this time to go and see some kittens - lions and cheetahs to be precise.

The cubs were quite playful but very very different. The cheetahs were like puppies I suppose and they ran around like mad all of the time playing with anything and everything they could get their paws on. And then collapsed with exhaustion. Repeat after 30 seconds. Much fun was had. The lions were a lot different and they were unlike any domestic animal I have seen and did not seem to want to play with us that much, but they were curious and did not stop for a second. Even small cubs like that had massive paws and a very big head.

Adult cheetahs and lions were next and this was really quite something. The animals were not threatening in any way and they were also not drugged or anything. Being around people since they were babies and some rules how to “work” together is enough.

The cheetah were a bit like the biggest dogs you ever saw but also slimmer and leaner at the same time. You could see and feel that this cat was built for speed. Very elegant. The lions on the other hand were built for power. Muscle all around and you can see the power of these animals from far away. We walked for a bit in the bush with three of them but of course did not play with them as that would have been too much even for adventure motorcyclists. The lions we walked around with were a couple of years old and weighed about 80kg. A fully grown male lion can go up to 260 kg. That is some brutal power.

The whole experience was one of the highlights of this whole adventure so far. I have nothing negative to say about it and this would probably be the first time during this trip. It was a rare occasion to connect with wildlife at a very personal level. And much more manly than taking pictures of elephant’s asses from a Land Rover.

At the hotel we got some breakfast, picked up all the stuff that people had left behind and were on our way. Immigration and customs out and in went like a breeze, but paying a ”road tax” in Botswana was a major pain in the ass as it took absolutely forever. The ferry ride we were warned about was a piece of cake.

The next little affair on the road did not start well. It had something about stop signs and arrows pointing here and there. We have not paid any attention to any of those after Sweden, so why start now? Nobody else is. In any case, the policeman was not happy. He ushered us with the bikes to another guy who turned up to be an animal inspector. He had the power of life and death in his hands as he was looking for illegal fruit. And tsetse flies no doubt. After a short inspection and random rummaging through our shit, he decided that the reindeer antlers will be confiscated but being a reasonable man he would not open an investigation of my offence of having “animal products” in my possession.

No fucking way was he going to take the antlers that have been a part of the bike since before the official start. He did not listen to any reason or explanation that these things come from an animal that lives above the Arctic Circle, not in Africa. As I was almost taking them off – to break them myself – he decided that we can go. My sad face must have convinced him that I should keep them. Real men never cry unless you have to. These guys are trying to prevent poaching and the foot and mouth disease, not tourism. For once, reason prevailed but of course he had to show who is boss and that he has the power to do this. And what choice you have? Comply, or pay a fine and comply as encouraged by the police. That is some fucked up legislation.

The road from Livingstone to Maun is a piece of cake but it was too long. We made the first sensible decision on this trip. It was a good call as the lodge in Gwenda we decided to retire to was excellent. We also met this big South African guy at the lodge. He was one of the staff there and had a lot of experience with motorcycles (and other things). Good times were had and many tales were told. This was good!

We got a message from the rest of the group in Maun that the safari starts at 06:30. To meet them for it would have meant a wake up at 03:00 and a ride through the night. On the road we saw so many animals already that you could open a zoo on it. At night the animals are even more active, so we responded with an equally pointless message and decided to skip the safari (like we had a real choice). Still, I would trade the safari for this morning any day.

Victoria Falls

2010-11-13T12:17:00.000-08:00

Place: Livingstone

Tunes: The sound of a million litres of water falling down a cliff every second

The smoke that thunders.

The health and safety briefing.

The falls.

More falls.

The only way forward is down.

We managed to find a flat spot.

First you do take the rubber boat thing and then you climb. Worn out soles on your shoes are not recommended.

Nice scenery. You can only come here during the dry season.

Not a bad place for a swim.

Some damage during today's excercise was fixed with this beautiful pirate sticker.

At eight in the morning we were to have breakfast. This was the only information we had about today’s program. At the breakfast table we were told that at 10:15 we were to go somewhere and do some sightseeing of the waterfalls. Ok, no worries. Pack light and bring the big camera I have used twice before today.

The mystery tour started with loading this strange looking vehicle with all sorts of kit, but we did not ask or care about any of it. Uncertainty is the norm on this trip and if you know where you are going it is not an adventure. Next, a safety briefing was given where we were explained that the organiser essentially takes zero responsibility of anything that might happen.

We started off by hiking on some very rocky ground to take pictures of the (dry) waterfalls. This is where all four batteries for the big camera stopped working and no pictures with that anymore. No problems, I enjoy hauling it around. After this easy bit we continued to hike up and down some cliffs, some of which were quite steep. The soles of my five year old trainers have worn out quite thoroughly and this made the climbing a tiny bit challenging. Helmets and life jackets all around and cameras etc to dry bags (so much for pictures of the falls) and off we go to climb some rocks. If you fall, you go to the hospital was the theme and it was “interesting” to say the least. After the climb we jumped on to some boats and started paddling straight towards the falls. Our rowing was perfectly synchronised and we could have easily climbed up the rapids with this boat.

We ended up swimming where the water from the falls ”falls” after dropping for more than 100 meters. This is the dry season, so you can go there. The water is usually 18 meters higher than it was now.

You could actually stand under the waterfall and take a shower.
The falls themselves were not as spectacular as they could have been of course, but we heard the thunder and saw the smoke. After the main event we went back the same way, except uphill and with wet and slippery trainers. It was not a place for packet holiday goers, I can guarantee you. If you take some distance and think of doing something as special as this at home, you realise how unique experience this has been. It has been a great day and it's only the afternoon.

After this little excursion, the rest of the day consisted of mostly chilling out in the bar. Sorting out tomorrow’s program and sipping GT’s. It seems that there are no more gravel roads in front of us. Everything is tarmac. This information was from a South African motorist who just showed up at the hotel. For half of the group there was much rejoice and the other half looks disappointed. I am sure this will pass and we will think of something to make it more interesting.

The fly inspector

2010-11-13T12:16:00.000-08:00

Place: Livingstone

Tunes: Armin van Buuren, AC/DC

We woke up from huts like this. Nice, but no aircon and it was very hot.

This was the budget option.

Lusaka traffic.

Having a break somewhere. For once, the bikes are lined up nice and tidy.

Selling shotgun shells in a butchery? Hmmm...

Jukka trying to find a more comfortable riding position.

The first and only over-the-shoulder picture I took that was any good.

As the sun was getting down, the sky looked magnificent. Now we would need a photographer to take a picture of it.

More sky and clouds.

This was one of the longest driving days so far, more than 700 km from Bridge Camp to Livingstone.

On the road not that much happened today.

We had some near misses with cows, goats, a dog, a snake and a turtle. The traffic is easy and the locals are driving much better than we are. We get sneered at for driving like hooligans. Rightfully so.

There was this roadblock, like many police checkpoints we have seen before. We stop and this guy walks up from the booth. He looked like a pimp or a drug-dealer wearing a bright yellow vest that said ”Tsetse inspector”. The stop sign on the gate also read ”Tsetse stop”.

There have been all sorts of stops on the road for whatever reason since Syria and this looked like one of them. You had better treat the inspector/soldier/whatever with respect and co-operate with them or they will make your life difficult. This was my mindset as we stopped even if this looked something unlike anything we had seen before.

When the inspector got closer and started to talk it became apparent that this was either a complete loonie or some kind of candid camera thing. It was so incredibly gay. So, the guy introduced himself as a Tsetse fly inspector and wanted to inspect us for flies. He had a net full of holes and proceeded to prod our bikes and the stuff strapped on with his net. This clip gives you some idea what he was like:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xnH5jIRD7zc

I was more than a bit surprised by this and it took a while to get my head around whatever the hell is going on here. The guy was trying to be serious but the locals nearby were laughing. I should have realised sooner that this is a complete joke and opened the gate myself, but a passer by did that for us as he saw that we did not know quite what to do. A hilarious episode now that you think about it.

We stopped quickly at a shopping centre in Lusaka to have some expensive but good lunch with proper ”I need more blood pressure” cakes that were most excellent. This is the capitol and you can find European style places at European prices, but we have no time for those. Basically, we are catching up the schedule that was messed up in Ethiopia and because of the bike repairs.

With about 200km to go we stopped for it to get dark and to start raining before riding to Livingstone. Unfortunately we got here too early and quickly got bored of waiting and covered the last 200km in no time at all. Partially because of the new EU-funded road. The president of course takes credit of building the road with signs as big as apartment buildings.

We got to Livingstone in surprisingly good time and waited for the dark as Peter was scouting ahead. The darkness finally came and we passed the time by buying big big Zimbabwean notes for a couple of dollars (100 000 000 000 pounds or whatever they use over there).
The day was complete with a very nice hotel and dinner. And the usual cast of muppets serving the dinner. At least the room has aircon. I love aircon.

To Zambia

2010-11-10T07:17:00.000-08:00

Place: Bridge Camp

Tunes: Armin vand Buuren, ATB

The road to Zambia, too early in the morning.

Pekka decided to make a career change today and now he works as a customs officer in Zambia.

Traffic in Lusaka.

The birds are getting bigger and bigger.

Darth Vader and a child.

Changing a little bit worn front tyre.

How can a tyre wear out like this?

These guys keep the bugs away.

Today was long but not particularily difficult. We crossed the
border from from Malawi to Zambia, but the driving was again nothing too unusual.

The border crossing had the usual piss-ants harassing you and we had to pay a questionable 50 USD for a visa, which turned out to be a simple stamp on the passport. All of the officials were really slow and we almost had to drag them by force to sit on their desks and actually do something. The currency exchange guy was another silly person. First he did not know the rates he should use to change the currency, then he wanted to know what company each person worked for. He of course did not have any Zambian currency either. After some time he got some and we took all of it off him.

Another traveller there had seen him before and he got the same "no money" response we did. As we eventually got money and he did not (as we took it all), he was naturally a bit pissed off. He shouted "what kind of discriminative banking is this" and stormed away.

In Zambia things got easier and everyone’s a millionaire. The roads are good with some pot-holes and mini-pigs trying to charge you. They could actually be just piglets rather than mini-pigs but you never know. Mini-pigs are supposed to be clever but these ones were not. Still, these were good driving roads with little traffic to go fast on. Nice corners. Add good music and that’s all you need. The traffic in Zambia is ok, nothing we are not used to by now. Normal cars drive pretty neatly, but the buses go as fast as they can as usual. This is of course a major hazard but the police seems to be powerless to do anything to it.

When we got to Bridge Camp, Pasi had to change his front tyre. The knobbly tire had some smashed up studs and has become undriveable. A fast tire change and all was well. Most of us seem to have gone back to running road tires by now. I still have the TKC 80’s but the rear will have to be changed sooner or later. I hope it will last through the last gravel road in Botswana.

The Bridge Camp lodge thing is a nice place, not full of random people as the Nkhata Bay place was. And the burgers were excellent. Unfortunately it looks like that the night will be as yesterday. Very hot and humid with plenty of bugs to keep you company.

Lake Malawi and on to Lilongwe

2010-11-10T06:58:00.000-08:00

Place: Lilongwe

Tunes: Kotiteollisuus

Today’s program was as follows. Sleep late and then race to Lilongwe. Some of us got our last ”business” taken care of with some souvenir shopping from a local artist. The breakfast was possibly the best one I have had in Africa. Freshly made bread, butter, jam, some fried eggs that actually tasted of something and some tomato and onion sauce that was excellent. The day could not start any better.

But the pessimist is never disappointed...

Settling the bills at the resort was a typical African affair. When we check in they say, ”visa no problem”. When you try and check out, it first takes thirty minutes to add up what you spent and then they say ”visa machine broken for three weeks, cash only”. If you have no currency, they will accept USD with their ”special” rates. All of this is completely normal in this place.

Once we got going, the ”team slow” lost the race fair and square. Shit happens sometimes. When we got to the hotel we were running on fumes but I guess the road racers went fast enough to refuel before we caught up. Nothing special happened on the road and we did not do anything to liven things up. The beach road along Lake Malawi was nothing that special to be honest.

The hotel is pretty dull but there is internet here at least. The rooms are very hot and there is no aircon. Next door there is a nice restaurant run by a Brit who has been in the restaurant business for ages all around the world. The customers were almost all white and I think this is one of the best places for food in town. The steaks hit the spot even if the expectations were raised to levels that could not actually be met by the kitchen. It was good nevertheless in comparison to the other stuff we have been eating recently.

Anthill lodge

2010-11-10T06:14:00.002-08:00

Place: Nkhata Bay

Tunes: Nine Inch Nails, Kotiteollisuus

Wake up the usual time. Good breakfast for a change and a short ride to Nkhata Bay. The roads were paved all the way even if we expected much worse. Peter found this Lodge for us. I suspect this is the best place in town and it is very scenic with bungalows all around on this hill and everything is very chilled out.

Personally, I think this is some hippie outpost that superficially looks like paradise but is in reality completely overrun by ants and not many things work - in true African fashion. Seriously, anything in contact with the ground is covered in these little ants. In seconds. They are harmless, but I don’t want any strange fucking ants touching my shit! I’ll poison them!

Those of you who did not get the joke, here is a hint:

http://www.google.com/search?q=youtube+kummeli+myrkyt%C3%A4n&hl=fi&client=firefox-a&hs=vlW&rls=org.mozilla:fi:official&prmd=v&source=univ&tbs=vid:1&tbo=u&ei=W6faTMfaJqOAhAfy9dzPAg&sa=X&oi=video_result_group&ct=title&resnum=2&ved=0CCcQqwQwAQ

There is a big Carlsberg fridge full of beer and some local hooch available, so we’ll be ok here. Let’s try this chilling out business. There are some ”business people” at the lodge also selling you all sorts of things and of course rastas selling weed. And police waiting for a tip off from the rastas so that they can arrest you and ask for a big bribe.

Apparently we will have a day off tomorrow as the place is so nice, but we do have some 4000 and something km to cross and the deadline 21.11 is approaching. With luck we will make it just in time to take pictures at the cape five minutes, ride like hell to the airport and run to the check in. 12 hours later I will be in Amsterdam. Real men have no time for sentimentality, reflection or tourism in Cape town. Some guys will stay there for a few days, so as long as I can make the flight, they will take care of the bike. But sightseeing Cape town – no way. This would be lame in any case as racing to catch the plane would be in the true spirit of this trip.

Later we decided that chilling out is for tourists and that we will press on tomorrow to Lilongwe.

Malawi

2010-11-10T06:10:00.000-08:00

Place: Karonga

Tunes: U2, Nine Inch Nails

Very tidy treeline. There are a lot of forests around here.

A crashed lorry and some local villagers watching as the bodies are pulled out.

The view out from my new office. The view is truly unobstructed by anything.

Someone hauling a container has had a really bad day.

The first beach we saw on Lake Malawi.

Peter and Teijo planning on rowing to Zimbabwe on this here boat.

In no time at all we were surronded by children, who are every time amused by the screen of a digital camera.

A beautiful sunset at the hotel.

The ride to the border and the crossing itself were easy. It took a while as we had to wait for the right bosses to get there as the under-bosses could not open the gate across the border. At the crossing, the money changers you always see were the most desperate ”businessmen” that I have ever seen. They had the usual ”no is not an answer” routine and kept on going and going. All the way into Malawi and even outside the border compound. Some were even running after us. This stinks of desperation and it is never nice. They were almost as sad as the merchants in Egypt.

In Malawi, things were pretty much as before. There are potholes on the roads and it is almost impossible to see them as there are shadows from the trees on the road camouflaging the holes. We also saw several crashed trucks, lorries and buses. The saddest scene was a wreck where the police was just pulling three bodies out of. One man, woman and child went in that mess. Regardless of this, the bus drivers go as fast as the bus will go. Everywhere, all of the time. In general the traffic in Malawi is light and everybody drives quite nicely, apart from us. Or the buses.

The rest of the day was uneventful and we found this reasonable resort full of Germans and hookers, and hookers with the Germans. The bungalow we had was full of ants. There is cold water coming out from the right tap and ants from the left. All of our stuff is now covered in little ants and they will be impossible to get rid of. There is aircon at least and it even works.

The service at the restaurant was rubbish as usual in places like this and there is zero chance of getting the right change for whatever you buy. Intentional theft or incompetence? Probably both.

Morogoro

2010-11-07T13:59:00.001-08:00

Place: Morogoro

Tunes: AC/DC, Sisters of Mercy, Armin van Buuren

The first thing we see when we get to the main road. The highest peak in Africa.

Nice scenery follows for some time.

Bananas for anyone?

Some say that taking pictures while riding is dangerous? Just ask Pasi.

Again nothing happened, just like yesterday. 550km of driving good roads, nothing special.

Previously our experience with the police in Tanzania was not that positive, but surprisingly they seem to be leaving us alone. Markus was approached by one as we overtook some buses etc on some speed bumps and was ”offered” a ticket. Markus used the ”stooped tourist” trick and basically turned the whole situation into a joke. He (Markus) just insisted ”no money” and the police gave up. No problem.

The best traffic offence of the day was when the four of us overtook two lorries. One lorry was overtaking the other climbing up this hill. I went past overtaking from the right (of the lorry overtaking the slow one), Pasi went through between the two and Ari and Markus went past from the left (of the slow moving lorry). Because you are too bored to think about the situation, I have prepared a powerpoint presentation to illustrate the situation. The prosecution is free to use this picture.

The most beautiful overtaking maneuvre on this trip.

And just to make things simple, the traffic here is left handed, like in the UK. In the UK we would probably have been executed by the traffic police for doing something like this, but here it was just one beautiful moment.

In general we drive using the principle ”when in Rome”, which means driving like the locals. Which in order means that there are no rules or regulations, borders or boundaries (a quite from the Matrix movie there) on the roads. You can ride however the hell you like. Too bad we are riding these overloaded tractors instead of some proper road racing bikes. The Hayabusa would feel right at home here.

There are speed bumps everywhere in this country. The gravel roads included. Annoying. On the other hand, they are the only thing slowing down the bus drivers, but they are a bit annoying as they have no warning signs and there are speed bumps even on gravel roads that are so bad that no-one could actually speed on them.

Tomorrow we may be trying to cover a bit more ground to gain some days down the line, but we will see. No doubt some off-road action is in the program soon as everyone has a bike that works. Something needs to be done about that.

Let's get the hell out of Dodge

2010-11-07T13:54:00.000-08:00

Place: Moshi

Tunes: Van Halen, Guns and F&%”ing Roses!

My new lights! From a 600cc Yamaha XT.

Pannier fixed.

The hotel we found in Moshi.

That's one tall Masai.

We took the scenic route out of Nairobi as advised by Garmin. It took a long time and we got to see a lot of misery we would not have otherwise seen. That’s what we are here for, so it was a good start. The traffic jams today were caused by stupidity, lack of any sort of common sense or intelligence by the numerous minibus drivers around. If I could shoot every idiot I saw today, I would need a machine gun. That 9mm just would not be enough.

Nothing much happened today. We drove to Tanzania and went through the border without much hassle. An ”yellow card” had to be bought to cover the insurance requirements for some African countries (theoretically) and we could wait for the papers to be printed out while being ”entertained” by Masai women trying to sell us ten sorts of shit souvenirs etc. Their tactic is simple. Just repeat the same thing 56 times over and the white man will pay you just to get rid of you.

Adventure overlanders do not bother with trinkets and I told anyone approaching me to fuck off in no uncertain terms. It worked for me but Pasi took the hit as he made the mistake of smiling at the women. He was like Jesus Christ surrounded by nuns.

On the way to Moshi we passed Kilimanjaro, which is the tallest free-standing ”mountain” on the planet. Mount Everest and the other really tall ones are a part of some mountain range. This one is just sticking out from the flat ground. We got a glimpse of the snow-covered top unobscured by the clouds, but only very briefly. Pictures are forthcoming. Maybe sometime later. Inshallah.

Another interesting detail about the scenery were the little whirlwinds of dust. You could see these mini-tornados all around and ususally several at the same time. I would not like to ride through one, but at least they liven up the scenery that for the most part is not that interesting.

Tomorrow we should meet up with the rest of the group who have been having a beach party today somewhere in Tanga.

Back to Nairobi

2010-11-07T13:50:00.000-08:00

Place: Nairobi

Tunes: Still no tunes

There was not much to see on the way to Nairobi, but we did see this beauty.

From now on we will only fill up with Danger Petrol! It is much more exciting and dangerous than normal petrol.

Back in Nairobi. Beautiful.

What's all this then? Rigor mortis?

Jackson (our driver) took us from the Lodge to Nairobi today. The wake-up was early and from there on it was a pretty unremarkable day in a minibus. Shortly after starting off, we were pulled over by the police. Everything was in order but then the police demanded 200 dollars for something. There was nothing wrong and all the paperwork was in order, the whole thing was complete bullshit. The bribe went down to 1000 Kenyan (10 Euro) pertty soon and we were on our way.

From the hotel we got a normal taxi to JJ’s. The bikes were ready and repaired. The boys got their shocks and I got the panniers fixed, radiator cleaned and new lights from a 600cc Yamaha XT dirt bike. With these I can see 5 meters in front of me. They are even worse than the BMW lights, but at least people can see me.

We did some tyre trading with Chris and I think he got a very good deal. I was not in a very good position to negotiate and just happy to get rid of the extra tyre. Some overlanders at JJ’s complain that the prices there are steep and that you really do not have a choice but to pay. Well, it is true. But if the place was not there, you could be really fucked after the Moyale Marsabit road. And to sort out the spares and to find a mechanic here ... that’s an adventure. The spares can be expensive, as they must be imported, but the work is not. All in all, I am glad to find Chris and to have my bike fixed properly ...

... or almost. This is when we realised that me and Jukka forgot our helmets in the boot of the taxi. No problem, a phone call to the hotel to take the helmets to reception and we rode back without helmets. Interesting. A couple of km down the road we filled up and me and Jukka discovered a big leak on the seal of the fuel tank. Back to JJ’s again (after a pointless trip to the hotel), this time after dark in the Nairobi traffic (with helmets).

The problem was quickly located and the mechanics installed the fuel pump more carefully this time (the seal was not on properly). And fixed some wiring things for me. My fuel pump was taken out even without telling me to try it on Jukka’s bike and then installed just as professionally back. Hence the same problem.

At something past eight we were back at the hotel and I could start packing the bike. Two hours later I was done. After all that tourist business it felt good to be back in the normal flow of things.

Tourism in a Crater

2010-11-02T08:42:00.000-07:00

Place: Ngorogoro Crater

Tunes: None

Not a bad sunrise to start the day with.

This lion looks like it's awake but it's still sleeping.

Lions sleeping late.

More lions, but in the mid-day sun it's too hot to sleep.

You just lie still and do very little.

An encouraging sight. Let's press on.

There were far more hyenas there than any other big cats.

And a jackal trying to get a bite of the zebra (?) carcass.

A bird.

We are still trying to overtake these guys.

A brightly coloured bird.

It's a strange frog of some sort?

Bird fishing.

How will this end?

A lunch stealing kite.

An eagle renovating a nest.

More eagle action.

Antelopes fighting.

The compulsory photo of an elephant.

The morning was cold and miserable. Sleep was not good but at least there was breakfast. Off to the 4x4’s again and into the crater. It is called the Noah’s Ark because of the variety of animals you can see there and we were not disappointed.

We saw elephants, cheetahs, hyenas, lions, hippos, buffaloes and antelopes of all sorts (except the small ones), some eagles and finally some rhinos from very far away. The lions looked a bit tired panting in the mid-day sun and some sought refuge in the shadow of the Land Rovers. They have no natural enemies here and act like they own the place. You can drive past one from half a meter away and they will not react in any way.

The cheetahs (two of them) left a better impression. They almost started a fight with a warthog, but changed their minds after the pig decided to accept the challenge. Those pigs take shit from no-one.

Once again the day was something different and we were forced to enjoy ourselves. If this continues, I am seriously considering making an official complaint about this trip. There has been no pressure or stress, nor very long days and we have only done easy things. This stinks of tourism and we really have to do something to rectify this lameness. We did not come here for a holiday. To remind myself of the truth, I am gong to take one of the bikes here, put it in gear and push it around the parking lot for a couple of hours. As it is dark it will feel just right.

Tomorrow morning the limping or "Hiace" group will go back to Nairobi and the others will do something else. If we get up early, we can get to JJ's in time to pick up the bikes before the notorious Nairobi traffic jams and go to the hotel. On the following morning we can start chasing the others, who have a 24h head start. Sounds like a race!

Tourism around a lake

2010-11-02T08:41:00.000-07:00

Place: Kasane

Tunes: No tunes

This is where we woke up from. Not bad eh?

Who is taking pictures of who?

Warthogs on their knees.

There are a lot of these guys around.

A parrot.

A monkey running away. There were a lot of monkeys too and I expected them to try to steal stuff from us but they just ran away.

More monkeys on the run.

A monkey in a tree.

A baboon. These were the most numerous monkeys we saw.

There's a jackal in there somewhere.

Two Hyenas in the mud.

Hippos in the mud.

The giraffe never stopped staring at us.

The first cheetah of the day.

The same cheetah up close.

The cheetahs managed to sneak up on a warthog.

But after it saw that it was not a lion the pig was not having any of it.

The world's smallest antelope.

There are two antelopes in this picture.

Antelopes in a tree.

Some big buffaloes.

This is how you usually see an elephant.

This is how they are supposed to be.

A upside down tree.

If you drink Bouncer vodka you will become a bodybuilder?

We survived a day of tourism and enjoyed it. We must be softening up. I bought a rungu too which will no doubt be confiscated from me in Belgium. It's dangerous that is.

Tourism! The word we curse every day. This is not what professional adventure overlanders do but Peter is threatening us at gunpoint, so we have no choice. We got a message from Nairobi and our bikes are good to go.

Today we are going to see Lake Manyara on some 4x4’s as you are not allowed in the park on a bike (and ours are in Nairobi anyway). To travel like this has left us vulnerable, so we quickly procured a Masai Rungu’s (a big fuck-off club) and a double edge machetes. The Masai are busy selling whatever they can get money off, their weapons being one such thing.

In the park we met many many baboons and other monkeys. Some of them even had a 4x4. Elephants, buffalo’s, antelopes and different birds were also seen here. Even a monitor lizard made an appearance. Shooting (pictures of) animals is what Safaris are for. Four people in a Jeep with the roof open. Stand up and take pictures. Simple. We also saw the world’s smallest antelopes. In a tree!

To get to the Ngorogoro Crater early tomorrow, we are already camping on the edge of the crater. Everything is set up and there are a lot of tourists waiting for tomorrow. After dark, a big male elephant showed up at the campsite, walking around the tents. This was a bit unexpected as there were so many people around. The campsite was absolutely freezing at night, but after Norway this was merely amusing for us and some even left the ”door” of the tent open to show those tourists.

Into Tanzania

2010-11-02T08:39:00.000-07:00

Place: Karatu

Tunes: The wind blowing in from the van windows

This was a boring day. Much packing in the morning and off to Tanzania in a minibus. My stuff was left at the hotel and I heard that someone was already welding my boxes this morning. Three guys can still go on and they will ride to Karatu and Ari (and apparently Teijo also) will follow them if he gets his bike out soon enough.

The rest of us, with bikes being repaired at JJ's will travel to Karatu in a minibus. We had a very easy day in a minibus going through the borders and almost 500km. It was an interesting experience but going through the roads (tarmac and sand) would have been so much faster on the bikes. And you could have actually seen something from the bike saddle. At least we found a bank and even a supermarket. A mars bar and sour cream and onion crisps for me. Someone found banana crisps also. I was not too impressed by them.

The hotel - Kudu Lounge - is easily one of the nicest places we have stayed in this trip. Everything is tip top but the staff is – as everywhere in Africa so far – a bit clueless. No problem. The bar is fantastic even if the bartender can not count. Some updates on the blog today but the internet is rubbish – yet again.

Tomorrow we will do the safari thing and sleep out in some tents. There is much pressure to take some good pictures. We should be able to see elephants, lions and all sorts of animals and things.

During dinner (in the dark) we heard from Ari and Teijo that it will be at least another hour before they get here. Riding in the dark in Tanzania. Interesting. I almost wish I was with them. Later, the guys arrived without having any hassle.

Nairobi

2010-11-02T08:36:00.000-07:00

Place: Nairobi

Tunes: 69 Eyes, Him

Nairobi. Some day it could be ok.

Some adventurer took the right bike but forgot to pay for parking. My new headlight eventually came from this one.

Another skeleton ... hang on, that's my bike.

Finally at JJ's. The only BMW repair workshop between Cairo and Capetown.

The graveyard of rear shocks. Mostly BMW rear shocks.

This is not mine but someone has taken a bit of a hit.

The limping group started early and we had no hassles getting to Nairobi. The traffic there is crazy and the whole place looks like a big roadworks site. This is where I managed to develop a radiator problem. There’s cooling fluid flying out from the reservoir but the engine is not running too hot.

It is an interesting situation as I have no instrument panel. It was very slow going in downtown Nairobi after that. If you stop, there are dozens of people all around you. Intimidating? No, just annoying. Apparently Nairobi used to be much more dangerous, but since the police started to shoot the criminals, the city has become safer. Sounds good.

After finding the hotel, we (the disabled group) went to the BMW shop to leave empty-handed. Next stop was JJ's, where every overlander seems to end up. It is an oasis in the middle of a desert (well, a campsite/garage in Nairobi) and this is the only place between Cairo and Capetown to get professional BMW maintenance/repairs/spares. And they do know it.

There are always many of us there and we had many discussions with the other travelers. In comparison to the others we seem to be going a bit fast through this continent. And we seem to have some more technical problems also. That means we are trying harder.

Ari and his smashed rear shock has been on some on more pickups today and arrived first to Jungle Junction. Funfunfun no doubt.

While waiting at JJ's we got a message that three more bikes have the same radiator issue as I have and Jukka developed some mysterious fuel feed problems also. With that bike there are now 5 out of eight being repaired here. And of course the Honda is not one of those. Bastard! This just shows how manly we have been with our riding. Riding through Africa without any technical issues would be just too simple for us and if nothing would happen, it would just not be the same.

We left the bikes to JJ's and went back to the hotel (a very nice hotel actually). They will be repaired when they will be repaired and it will cost something to us. This is as specific as it gets.

Tomorrow we are off for three days to do a safari thing in the Ngorogoro crater, which is apparently the place to see African wildlife. From there we will head back to Nairobi and stay there until the bikes are fixed. Where to catch up with the others also remains open. In a nutshell – the bikes are broken will be fixed at some point and we are going to be charged something.

We might get them after the safari or not. After we get the bikes, we will meet up with the group continuing with the bikes somewhere, sometime before Cape town. Or at the motorcycle fair in Helsinki in February the latest.

This is Africa.

Day two in Hell

2010-11-02T08:34:00.000-07:00

Place: Nanyuki.

Tunes: The cement mixer and the constant “ping” sound of rocks hitting the bash plate.

I am bursting with enthusiasm to get on this dream road again.

The road in the morning.

The only way is forwards.

A quick tube change in the front. No idea what went wrong with the old tube. Possibly the valve.

The road on the afternoon. More sand - my favourite!

It is over. There was much happiness!

Even professional adventure motorcyclists sometimes celebrate. We did not see any today unfortunately.

Wake up in this shithole in Marsabit (the best place in town).
Of course we had to get the first water from the sky since Sweden today. And very heavy mist. It would have been more cheerful to ride to a graveyard than on this road today.

The disabled group (Pekka, Pasi and me) was supposed to get a ride arranged by this local businessman at 06:00. He could not put it together, so no transportation to Nairobi – we ride the 110km of shit road at 30 kph. The road was marginally better today – at least in the beginning, but it did not disappoint. Going slow is torture as you feel every bump, corrugation and stone you ride over. I had a chance to speed up a bit in a couple of places as my shocks are still working and the going was much smoother in higher speeds. This is however a bit lame as you want to enjoy this unique road for as long as possible.

The road racers pass us twice without stopping, but somehow we all manage to arrive to the point where the tarmac starts at the same time. This is an indication of our precise planning and seamless teamwork.

When we reached this point, in time was also the time for some celebration as we have just finished about 360km of the worst road in Africa. This is something to keep with you as this nightmare of a road will soon be gone. The Chinese are busy coating it and in a couple of years, you can ride tarmac all the way through from Nordkapp to Cape town. One could see this road as a dinosaur that is being put down. One of the last “wild things” in Africa that you go there for. The Nubian Desert crossing was the first to go (which used to be a very difficult sand road in 40 degrees heat) and now this one will be gone soon also. There are some other bits left on the shortest route to Cape town in Tanzania but they will go soon no doubt. I love riding offroad so much that I will cry myself to sleep tonight reflecting this matter.

Shortly after we got on the tarmac, we also saw an ostrich. Things are looking better already.

Ari had a slightly different adventure today. He broke his Wilburs fancy pants rear shock in the morning and got some interesting experiences in a land rover and a lorry when his bike was being carried around by crazy pick-up drivers on piss-poor cars that have never been maintained. And of course they drove in the dark.

The lorry/van drivers know how vulnerable we are on the bikes and they will charge you as much as they can. Carrying a bike for a couple of hours is worth a week’s pay or more for them. Still some of them push for more and more and the price can go up any time during the transport. And you have to pay for strapping the bike, for loading it and for unloading it, for a handyman and a helper boy etc... And if a fixer gets involved, the price will double. It is shit and there is nothing you can do about it.

The total damage went as follows:

For me, a flat front tire and the little crash yesterday.
Jukka had a flat front yesterday.
Pasi, Pekka and Ari had broken rear shocks.

Not bad all in all.

About Kenya. The places we have seen so far are just as poor as the villages in Ethiopia, but the places are tidy and there is no construction waste all over the place. You get a feeling of being in a village, not in a junkyard. This is good, as it seems the people here have some self respect, but this can also manifest itself in the wrong way. I never felt threatened in Ethiopia, especially if there is a mass of people around you. But is has been a slightly different here in crowds and some things have been stolen already. Also, there are a lot of Masai around wearing all sorts of colorful things. They seem to be very reserved so far and if you even try to take a picture, they will object very strongly.

In Nanyuki we got a really nice hotel next to a military garrison with a lot of British flags flying around. The days of colonialism are apparently not completely over. Some of the squaddies from the garrison appeared to live in the hotel, so go figure.

The hotel had also another interesting feature. They had a proper sauna! The Mayor of the town was there and some local businessmen. Many interesting discussions were had. And this businessman guy was doing excercise in the Sauna. Manly things. And they thought that drinking beer in a sauna was dangerous (?!). In any case, they had some interesting stories to tell and made us feel very welcome into Kenya.

Tomorrow limping on to Nairobi and vehicle maintenance at last.

Road from Hell

2010-11-02T08:33:00.000-07:00

Place: Marsabit

Tunes: She Wants Revenge, Eisbrecher, AC/DC, many others

In the morning all is good. Apart from the road.

Ruts and rocks.

Loose gravel and rocks.

And of course corrugations.

Sand and corrugations.

There are people living here even if there is nothing to live off.

Some puddles, mud, rocks in surprising places and too much speed.

This will not improve the resale value of the BMW.

Nor will these pictures, but what would I not do for this blog.

Hmmm. Can you fix it?

The road aroung the crash site. Does not take much, does it?

How much longer did we have left?

Pasi's rear tire is really taking some damage from all the bouncing around. And this is after only about 150km of the rear shock going.

Another little mishap. Pekka also broke a rear shock and as you bounce around without one, these things can happen.

Pekka's bike on a pick-up. Will he ever see the bike again as the helper boy is already fitting on his helmet.

What?

So it begins. A test of man and machine that will separate the men from the boys and the adventure overlanders from packet holiday-goers.

Getting into Kenya was easy and the gravel starts 100m after the customs office. This road has been called the worst road in Africa and it lives up to its reputation. Today we will go from Moyale to Marsabit (250 km).

The road is essentially a gravel road from hell. There were rocks, a bit of mud, some rocks, a bit of soft sand, and more rocks. And a lot of rocks of all shapes and sizes mixed up in sand and mud. Some were loose and some stuck up from the ground like spikes, ready to throw you around or to mess with your front tire. The corrugations were the worst bit. They are everywhere going all the way across the road and ensure that you cannot ride for one meter without feeling that your bike is in a cement mixer. For most of the time, you can only ride in a rut of sorts and switching one to another, better one is sometimes very difficult as there is a steep rise between the ruts and there are always a lot of loose rocks around.

This road is relentless. It gives you no rest and it does not let you go for one second. There is nothing out there to give you a break and you must focus all the time. You feel like you have gone for 50km and check the GPS to see you just made 10km.

We have some very good off-road riders with us but no-one can be too complacent here. You can drive through at 120 kph, but that takes some balls and a shitload of experience. Some Paris-Dakar racer probably could do the 250km in two and a half hours, but on bikes we ride, no way. Or you would need to be even more manly AND professional than we are and that would be nearly impossible.

Not that far in I had a crash. Too much speed over some muddy puddles. Everything in front of the handlebars is now completely smashed. The screen (or the oil canister thing), the lights, the instruments and the plastic frame holding all of the above in place.

This is completely ok, as now I can go faster as the front of the bike is lighter. The panniers and possibly the space-frame holding the panniers in place are completely ¤%”ked up. The left pannier is almost completely smashed up. I don’t think I can advertise this bike anymore as being “almost new, never ridden in the rain”. The helmet also took some damage, but without it I would now be dead. If you are going to crash you should do it properly and I think I can tick that box and still be able to continue.

Shortly after my crash, Pasi broke his rear shock. We proceeded at 25-30 kph just to make this joy last longer. Apparently Pekka also had to drop from the (off) road racers group as he also broke his rear shock. After we loaded his bike on a land rover, we continued our limping on and managed to get to Marsabit in one piece. The racing group had one front tire puncture in the meanwhile.

Despite all this, the road from Lalibela was much worse. This road is like running a cross-country marathon. The Lalibela road (the second one) was like running through an army obstacle course.

We celebrate surviving today with some Tuskers but not more than one as this is really just another day in the office for us pro’s. Arrangements are made with some local business people to ship the three limping bikes to Nairobi on a lorry. 05:30 wake up tomorrow.

To Moyale

2010-11-02T08:31:00.001-07:00

Place: Moyale

Tunes: Random tunes

Green scenery.

More green scenery.

I did not know you could buy car parts from a Spar shop.

Then they sell stuff for spears not 20 meters away from the other shop! What's next, a Spar shop selling spares for spears?

This is what you see every time you stop. What you hear is "give me money".

Today was a shorter day. Calm before the storm I guess. Nothing special driving-wise. More of the same pretty much.

Five of us did some more off road excursion with where everything went as usual. Sand roads and a short ride to a lake. What could go wrong? And as usual with these excursions, there was a drop/crash thing. No major damage. We met a tribe (?) bathing in a lake inside what turned out to be a national park. The guard to the park with a rifle wanted money before he let us out. Getting into the park was fine. Classic! Shortly after this, a kid ran over with a spear and told me to ”give me the money”. I told him to fuck off and drove away. So, business as usual in Ethiopia.

We ended up in this hotel in Moyale after sorting out the border formalities out of Ethiopia. No problems with those. It was good that we could do this today rather than on tomorrow morning.
I also had a flat on the hotel courtyard. The path there went through a construction site/junkyard and of course there were many nails there. One of which went through my rear tire. No problem. A quick change that has become routine for us adventurers.

Around the same time we met Richard travelling solo from Cape town to Cairo. He had just crossed the road we were going to cross tomorrow and he gave us some useful advice on the condition of the roads we would see in the near future. Not all of it was positive you could say. The road tomorrow will be the manliest road ever.

On the road

2010-10-29T08:17:00.000-07:00

Place: After Addis Ababa. Let’s say it’s Awassa.

Tunes: Nine Inch Nails, Armin van Buuren

Teijo avoiding some horses.

Dusty countryside roads.

Where's the perfect line? Or do you just aim for the middle at full throttle and close your eyes?

This is the lake that turned out to be a national park.

Beautiful ... Awassa was it ... at night?

We met Pietiläinen in the morning. Many books were signed and good times were had, but we must press on.

The roads were ok, but more boring. The scenery has become greener and looks a bit like a jungle at places. It is also very flat now. The traffic is still easy. There is marginally fewer people throwing shit at us, but it still happens. The begging never stops and when it does not work, the kids have started stealing our stuff. I also got a blessing type thing (?) from this witch doctor type. I think she wanted money for doing it, but no luck as I probably got some kind of a skin disease from her, rather than a blessing.

As usual we are travelling in groups now rather than in a single larger one. In the morning sometimes we know where we are meeting up in the evening and sometimes we get the location or the hotel as a text message. Professionals travel like this as you cannot slow down for anything.

We are staying in this place somewhere and tomorrow we proceed to the Kenyan border. The hotel has cold beer and it is good.

Once we check in, loud as hell preaching begins in the background. The guy is going on with such a passion and effort that I think he needs an ambulance when he is done. I hope this does not go on all night. A woman joined him and it sounds like she is the angriest person anywhere ever. Jesus this and Jesus that... I thought they have special places for this kind of thing called churches.

Eventually they run out of gas or whatever they were on. Sleep is good. Today was I guess uneventful as the preaching was the most memorable thing. Or we are becoming so well'ard that racing, off-road events and such do not register anymore.

Addis and unexpected encounters

2010-10-29T08:14:00.000-07:00

Place: Addis Ababa

Tunes: Above and Beyond

Crossing over to the pavement from a smaller road. Don't try this with a Goldwing.

How far will that camel go with all that hey?

Here young girls work instead of going to school. Young men hang around the villages doing not very much.

More crowds. You cannot do anything without a crowd in this place.

Pietiläinen and us. Note the position of the hands.

Normal procedures in the morning and no rubber chicken for breakfast. 12 people working in the little cafe and it still took ages to get our omelettes and coffee. African efficiency. The roads from Dese are nice and there is great scenery around the route. The tarmac is good. There’s stuff (rocks, construction waste, rubbish, sand, whatever) piled on the roads and many many potholes, fallen tree trunks etc. If you took only the cattle, the idiots and the shit from the roads they would be perfect. Top gear should really come here to try these roads. They have the muscle to seal the road and to put enough police on there to keep the idiots from wandering around. They would have a blast here.

There was this tunnel on top of a mountain at about 3400 meters. Inside, your only source of light was the tail light of the person in front of you and the ground was very hard, cut rock full of grooves and completely soaking wet. It was so cool that we had to do it wearing sunglasses.

Some long sections of road works had to be avoided every now and again, so more off-road driving. One wee fall occurred and now we have two street fighter GS 800’s.

In Addis Ababa, the people have private cars, but outside the city traffic was light. Only lorries and suicidal minibuses. Despite the increased traffic in the city it was surprisingly easy to get around and people drive with some common sense and skill.

The hotel was recommended by the embassy and is nice indeed. Finally, there is good internet (relatively speaking as it is censored), but the Leader here has decided that blogging is for foreign spies, so still no access. Later, this got sorted out thanks to Tor and a big thank you to Bram for pointing me to the right direction.

There is a sauna here too! The staff seems to be a bit puzzled how we do things in a sauna, like drink beer there, but now all is well and life is good. No nightlife today as one tends to pass out after a big meal if you had nothing to eat since breakfast.

Day two

Today, tourism believe it or not. I was hoping that stuff was behind us, but one does what he is told in these situations. We walked around the centre and looked for some cash machines only to find the seediest looking machine I have ever seen at the Hilton hotel. The blue bar you have on the screen in a Windows PC was clearly visible on the bottom of the ATM screen. The Sheraton had a better one and my cash problems were history for the moment.

Some piss-ants (fixers) were offering their services all day in order to sell us cheap souvenirs or cheap taxi rides or whatever you might possibly ask for. Very annoying. The oldest part of Addis was essentially a little slum in the middle of town, soon to be demolished. Nothing to see there but misery.

We did not do much shopping as going to the market looked like the kind of place where you have to do all the things we do not like to do and it would have turned into a fistfight in no time with the merchants. Besides, shopping is for amateurs and tourists. Real adventurers live off the land.

In the meanwhile, Jukka found a new windscreen for me. It was a big canister of cooking oil in a previous life. Some screws and cable ties later, I had a new colour coordinated windscreen. It is just as yellow as the rest of the bike. He put his own windscreen back on as too many women were chasing him for riding such a hard looking bike.

At the hotel Gym, another Finn told us how to find Kyösti Pietiläinen aka. Legionnaire Peters, in Addis. This was a bit of a surprise to me as I did not know he lived here and let alone that people knew about his whereabouts. We took a taxi and managed to find him. After many stories we had to retire but we agreed to meet up tomorrow morning. It was an honour to meet such an accomplished soldier and an ambassador to Finland in many ways.

Tomorrow we leave and start racing towards Kenya. It will be good to be on the road again to leave this tourism thing behind us.

About the Blog

2010-10-29T08:11:00.000-07:00

Dear all.

I am falling a bit behind with the updates etc as the internet connections here are not common and the connections we find are unreliable and very slow. Blogspot is apparently being censored by many of the countries we are going through as I cannot get through here even if I can get through to other websites.

We are in Tanzania right now but some of us need to go back to Nairobi on monday. From there on the plan is a bit open, but it looks like four of us will have to skip Malawi completely.

Thanks to all those who are following this. It is good to know that it is worth the time to write this instead of relaxing or shightseeing. But real men do neither!

More offroad in Ethiopia

2010-10-24T10:21:00.000-07:00

Place: Someplace that starts with a D. It’s in Ethiopia.

Tunes: Above and Beyond

A church. Or the prototype of Las Vegas.

Interesting symbols on this UNESCO site.

This is my church.

Scenery through the off-road bits.

Easy peasy lemon squeasy.

Getting more interesting.

Pushing the bike back up. You need to push with the legs and to lean on to the bike. I know as I had a lot of practice this day.

Big loose rocks.

More scenery.

No speed and you fall over.

Mud and stuff.

Forever the optimist.

A big pothole.

How many people can you fit on a pick-up.

Very much green stuff.

Congestion in Ethiopia.

Because yesterday’s offroad adventure in the darkness was so popular, we decided to up the ante a bit. Instead of taking the same dirt road from Lalibela to the main (paved) road, we took this other, smaller road everyone we asked told us not to take. The reasoning was that only tourists take the same road twice. It was not a disappointment if you enjoy driving on very rocky piss-poor gravel roads. It is amazing how they can drive lorries through there. Most people would classify this bit of road as undriveable with our heavily loaded bikes, half with road tires, but this is merely a small challenge for us pro’s. Four hours and sixty kilometers.

How do you ride that kind of road? It is pretty simple and similar to riding a Hayabusa. Just point to where you want to go, open the throttle and hang on. After the decision is made, you are a passenger. You either go through to where you want or you wake up in a hospital.

Several people dropped their bikes as you will fall if you have no speed, and I believe I won the drop count. Both panniers damaged but repairable. Countless stops and Ari had to ride my bike across some of the most difficult bits, such as one “bridge” that was covered in loose rocks the size of footballs. After this little morning excursion it was paved roads all the way for the rest of the day.

If you compare this to the off-road training I had before, I don’t think there was a section anywhere on the road today that was better than the worse bit on the training day.

Taking so long on that dirt road ensured the normal arrival to the hotel after dark. Again, all the advice and books say that you do not drive in Africa after dark, but we have wiped our backside with said rulebook a long long time ago. Only amateurs make mistakes. What we need to do next is to do this kind of gravel road, in the dark and in the rain. Ideally on some back road where no-one lives. Let’s do that in Kenya.

More stoning today in all sorts of places. Half of the people cheer at you and the other half throw shit at you or try to surprise you in some way to make you fall. And everyone asks for money, even as we ride past. Begging really is a national sport in this country. One guy in the countryside was asking for food. Someone gave him a can of sardines. He simply put it on his left hand and turned to another person to ask for more. Later, he came back as he could not figure out how to pull the ring on the cover that opens the can. The only Ethiopians we have met that did not beg have been hotel staff.

To give you some impression of the Ethiopian people, here is what they have said to us. People below five usually say “Give” or “Money”. Between the ages of 5 -10 they say “Give me money”. Above ten, they usually say, “Hey mister, give me money”. Those with private education might go as far as “I am a grade A student; give me money to buy an exercise book”. Other than that, there have been no conversations with anyone local. If you stop even for a second, you are surrounded by twenty people begging. Can someone please explain to me how this should be done to make it enjoyable?

Billions and billions of international aid have been poured into this place during the last 50 years and what is the result? A nation that still relies on foreign aid to survive and whose leadership sends the aid billions to their bank accounts in Switzerland. The ordinary people are still happy as pigs in shit. Go figure.

Ethiopia is a beautiful country with a climate that I really would like. Some of the paved roads we have been on have been the best roads I have ever been on. It not as good as it could be as there are so many idiots, cattle and shit on the road that you have to watch out all of the time rather than enjoy yourself. Still, on some occasions, with some good trance blasting away it was really really good.

This evening we also had Gordon fly in with his helicopter to make us some dinner. The chicken we were served was a cooked rubber chicken. We were all amazed how one can cook chicken to achieve this kind of texture. None of us could figure out how to a) eat it and b) cook chicken to make it like that. This is why there are so few three Michelin star restaurants out there – it takes skill. The pizza I had was not far behind. Or maybe they forgot to bring us a chainsaw with the cutlery.

Off-road in Ethiopia

2010-10-23T14:04:00.000-07:00

Place: Lalibela

Tunes: She Wants Revenge, Armin van Buuren

What a fine shitter to use this morning...

...after which some luxury did not hurt. We were originally supposed to spend last night in this place.

Here was todays crashed lorry.

Some riding on very loose rocks.

The scenery is not bad I have to say.

More scenery and toilet humour.

Fields.

God, what a shithole I woke up from. The mosquito net was impregnated with some toxin and I have in itch from hell everywhere. At least I managed to get 1-2 hours of sleep.

I don’t know what all of the Ethiopians are doing but I know where all of them are – on the roads built by the Chinese or the Koreans. It was going to be a long day so we started early. We had breakfast in this nice place in Gondar where we were supposed to be in if it was not for that bastard in the customs office. Spectacular views, spectacular toast and spectacular orange juice. Some luxury would not hurt at this time, but being real men, we did not stay for long ... and split off into groups immediately after that.

The amateurs went straight to the next hotel but the main group took a little shortcut to arrive to our starting point three hours later. The shortcut road was covered – with gravel and rocks – so no worries there.

The first part of the morning ride was excellent. Spectacular scenery and a good road that went up and down in every way imaginable and good weather. Lots of hills, big and small. The tarmac is new apart from some short sections, where things are apparently not quite finished. Too bad it did not last longer.

The countryside was piss-poor as can be expected, but what I do not understand is the treatment we get for no reason than being white. We were spat on. Things were thrown at us, such as sticks, stones, leaves and god knows what else. We were attacked by suicidal chickens, donkeys and children (someone must have coached the chicken and the donkey). Where do they learn all this?

And then there is the begging. Everyone begs. All the time. And so many people do precisely the same thing in precisely the same way. It's like they teach this stuff at schools. Kids hardly old enough to walk or talk were asking for money in english! Or throwing stones at us if we were moving too fast. Which we were most of the time.

No time for lunch for adventure travelers, Pepsi instead. After which, we started to chase the setting sun. Of course driving in the dark is much more adventurous than during daytime, so we pressed on in the darkness. It also started to get pretty cold reaching 12 degrees at the lowest.

Every guidebook about Africa and every person who has visited this place always tells you explicitly – do not drive in the dark. These people are social democrats and/or hippies and their advice can be ignored. 30 minutes of dodging people, animals, all sorts of shit (usually the smelly kind) on the road, no lunch and not enough water may sound like a bit of a stressful situation, but it is why we are here for.

We reached Peter and Pekka when there was about 60km to go to our next stop in Lalibela and decided on the rest of the night time activities. The amateurs (who drove straight there without the countryside detour) were already at the hotel and the rest of the road to Lalibela was a windy little gravel track. And it was pitch black.

We have lights (well ok, it is debatable on the GS 800) on the bikes and no social democrats with us, so we of course proceeded. The experience was interesting to say the least and we will be doing it again soon I suspect. We drove pretty much as fast as possible under the circumstances up and down the hills. As soon as the road from the airport to Lalibela started (tarmac), the last stage of today’s road racing took place. It was only 15 km, so no real effort needed.

The hotel was very nice and a good night’s sleep will feel better than anything ever after the previous places. In the morning there was some sightseeing in the program but real men spend the time doing motorcycle maintenance. Is this a packet holiday or something?

The only easy day was yesterday

2010-10-23T13:39:00.000-07:00

Place: Matema customs station.

Tunes: Oh boy... (no, that’s not a band)

This village idiot tried to oil our brakes and to set our bikes on fire. The other guy was a "local businessman". 

Metema main street. Oh boy do I feel like going through.

Why so sad? Be happy!

Quality electrical wiring. Someone had done the job properly when the house was built but when a fuse blew, no-one knew how to fix it so they went around this.

Inside the bigger customs station. A random lorry battery in the middle of the floor. Maybe someone should fix the door frame? 

At least the bird had some luck today.

At the bigger cuctoms station. We are not amused.

Posh Land Rover accommodation.

More happy faces. 

But now we have beer!

And beer!

And food (?).

And a top quality shitter. Who could ask for more.

Finally we got through.

Early start and off to the border. Nothing eventful on the way there. The weather is getting a bit cooler as we are going up to the hills. On the Sudanese side, while waiting for the carnets to be stamped, this village idiot was buzzing around the bikes. He seemed harmless, but when no-one was looking he managed to pour some motor oil on the breaks of two bikes. Nice! As the police was watching, we did not give this guy what he deserved and he proceeded to play with some lorrie’s brakes. Idiots like this are allowed to stroll around freely on the border zone. Another day, another 9mm moment.

At the Ethiopian customs the shit hit the fan. We met a British couple, Kate and Mick (www.steeringourwaytocapetown.co.uk), who told us the bad news. They have been stuck for three days at the customs as there has been a new law issued on Saturday. 

Essentially, you now need to deposit a guarantee that is worth several times the value of the vehicle on the border before your vehicle is allowed in. This is to guarantee that you do not sell your vehicle during your stay. Usually these arrangements are done with a carnet, but they apparently do not accept this document anymore (or choose not to do so).

At the moment there exists no system for you to get the money back. So you can pay them and go, but you will never see the money again. For the Brits, they wanted 23.000 USD for a 17 year old Land Rover. For us, they could not even come up with a number. There are apparently options to arrange this guarantee through an insurance company or a travel agency but they will no doubt charge millions for one. If they even know about this new law. Fantastic governance and preparation by the government (= The Leader) and by customs. 

In conclusion, the border is de facto shut for vehicles. All of us have no visa for Sudan anymore, so you can’t go back or forward. No-one at customs has a clue what they are doing and everyone is too scared to make a decision one way or the other because they might have to take the heat if they make a mistake. The retired Major General (WTF!) running this Micky Mouse operation is not budging one inch. He says that the law should be the same in all border crossings, but maybe they are different in different stations, but this is his interpretation. He is being a cunt and he knows it. 

You guessed it. There is more work for that 9mm right here. 

All this bullshit (like in Egypt) makes you feel really welcome to a new country and you would just rather not have anything to do with this place. Please all tourists hurry up. This experience gives you some idea of what the state of Ethiopia is like, inept and amateurish.

So, we (most of us at least) are camping here. But I went to a brothel. Like all brothels here, it doubles as a hotel when necessary. I will spare the details, but this was the worst room I have slept in my life. The toilet was also beyond anything I have seen before. More of the same shit to follow tomorrow I am sure. No-one has any answers at the moment and I go to sleep without any idea what tomorrow might bring.

To end on a positive note, we are no longer in Sudan and my stomach pills have run out (and they worked), so beer is back on the menu. We had some injeera (the stuff they had in an Ethiopian restaurant was so much better than this) and beers. As the brothel gang made their way to the place of ill repute we stopped by a couple of places for beers. The locals seem very helpful and cheerful but I would still not like to go wondering off on the small side-streets.

Even with all this, life is not that bad with a full belly and a cold beer in your hand. 

Day two:

First thing in the morning, some good news from the Finnish embassy in Addis Ababa, who have been very co-operative with this situation. The sub-boss at customs agreed to a guarantee by the embassy. Off we went to the bigger customs office to cause trouble there and as there was no fax machine in the village here. 

The bigger village/town was about 20-30 km away and we needed a minibus to get there. And of boy, what a minibus. The rear suspension had worn out a long time ago and the back end was bouncing around like in some cartoon. Or in America. For the first time in my life, I would have wanted to have a helmet in a van.

The driver of course wanted to do good time and was flooring it whenever possible, but there were many stops to drop off and pick up people, to avoid livestock, mad people, naked people and other people throwing stuff in front of you, so progress was slow. 

 The boss at the bigger station agreed to help us with this arrangement as the border office took the responsibility. 

Sometime later we were back in this ”back seat erection” bus and there was more of the same. At the sub-bosses office we asked the   
$1000 question. Can we go? No, you can’t. He was not happy with the precise wording of the certificate from the embassy, so Peter had to go to the fax machine again. 

The Brits were lucky, and so were the Belgians despite some initial resistance from their respective embassies. Their certificates were accepted and we are all free to proceed. They still decided to wait for the morning as there was not much daylight left.

Peter finally got back with a revised paper from the embassy and we also got the green light. And the carnets stamped, which they did not even recognise earlier. Go figure. The Finnish Embassy in Addis really helped us out a lot in this debacle and very quickly. Our big thanks to them.

Even if we all are finally moving, the problem still persists for other travelers who will be piling up on the customs parking lot - or junkyard as a normal person would call it, until the customs can get their shit together – which will take a long time. Before that, you will be at the mercy of whoever happens to be running the show. Once they feel that you have suffered enough and show you who is boss, they might let you go.

We relocated not far from the border to this seedy hotel that looked a bit better than the previous brothel as it was getting dark. Real men would have gone all the way to Gondar for about 180 km in the dark, but I am sure we will improve our lame performance on the road in the future. 

I thought that the previous night was bad, but this was probably even worse. Nothing else was available and you can't go on riding through the night, so what can you do. At least there is beer and a sense of relief. At least tomorrow morning we are good to go and see Ethiopia properly. The rooms were insanely hot and the music from the empty disco and the equally empty TV room next door mixed together into this cacophony that lasted for hours and hours. All AV systems in Africa we have seen so far have always been on 100% volume for some reason. The music in that fucking disco was so bad that it probably gave me cancer. 

Gedaref

2010-10-23T13:32:00.000-07:00

Place: Gedaref

Tunes: Foo Fighters

Not my bike this time.

I don't think these cows are just sleeping.

Get your hugs here.

Markus has some new footpegs.

An oasis or something.

The main street of the ... place we are staying in.

Early wake up and no serious heat today. 36 degrees does not count anymore. At 6:30 we started to persuade the hotel staff to maybe possibly cook us something as it was officially the time for breakfast. One hour later we were on our way. An advance group left already at 6:00 to do a recce of the road.

After clearing the Khartoum suburbs, which extend for maybe 30km from the centre we get to the countryside where we see a cattle market on the side of the road. Picture time.

As soon as we walk across the road, this git in a uniform shows up and starts shouting “no pictures, no pictures” and makes a big drama out of the whole thing. We did not really understand what the problem was but he basically wanted to throw us out from the market. A big crowd gathered around us and the cattle merchants were very eager to have their picture taken and to just have a little light entertainment to break the monotony of the day. Both for them and for us. But it was not to be. This guy was the first unfriendly Sudanese person we have met so far.

Speaking of cattle, there were lots of goats, cows, camels, donkeys and horses around all day today. Some were alive, some not. All over the place we saw many vultures, one of which made a go at me. I think it is time to wash that driving shirt. Small trees and other green things are all over the place the further east you got and this would explain the cattle. We even saw cowboys, the manliest men there are.

We met some motorcycle adventurers by the side of the road refueling. It took a while to realise that it was the three guys from our group that left at six in the morning. We decided to ride the rest of the way together to have some more weight to throw around in the traffic, but this was really not necessary as the traffic police ushered us through the intersections like we were some sort of VIP's.

The hotel was on the GPS, and we rode straight there. We must be slipping as there's still plenty of daytime left and no-one is knackered or pissed off. I hope the last group of three bikes will keep up the standard as the first two groups failed miserably. Someone might even think that this is a holiday.

Khartoum

2010-10-23T00:15:00.000-07:00

Place: Khartoum

Tunes: Armin van Buuren

Street view from the better part of town.

Camels on the way to town.

More camels.

Men at work. What else do you need to fix a pannier?

The box looks pretty good.

Some details after the drilling. Could you do it better?

Very useful drawers at the hotel.

The better taxi we took today. 8 people, some smoking candles and very questionable music in this Christmas tree on wheels.

500km covered today. The first 150 km went like a breeze in a modest 30 degrees but that yellow bastard on the sky did it again. There are many kinds of adventures and today’s was about fighting the heat and boredom. The BMW showed 43 degrees making this the hottest day so far. After 500km we hit the traffic in Khartoum and 45min later were at the hotel. The engine is running so hot that it is difficult to stay on the saddle. The sides of my calves have burns on them. And my iPod melted!

No registration in Khartoum, which is good, or maybe our travel agent dude took care of it for us. The traffic is lame here, nothing exciting. People do not race us, they stay in the lanes sometimes and we are not getting very close and friendly with the cars overtaking us 2cm away. If this is African traffic, where are we going to get our adrenalin fix and what the hell am I going to write about?

Two transamericans gave the rest of us a head start in the morning and we did get to the hotel first. Ha! We won! Apparently they went to see some pyramids and learned how to ride a camel.

So far, the Sudanese people have been very easy to get along with and there is no "intensity" that I experienced in Egypt. The merchants don't try to shove their produce down your throat and apart from taxi fares, the prices are reasonable.

In the evening we decided to head out to town. After cramming ourselves into a tiny taxi, the driver took us for a ride (this must be the exception that makes the rule). This driver guy was so pathetic that we actually had to intervene and grab the controls of the car. I think we left the handbrake on so tight that the kid probably could not get it off once we were done.
Apparently you do not need to know how to read, or how to read a map to drive a taxi here. We did eventually find a place that looked like a restaurant and the hot dog pizza was pretty good. The scenery in Khartoum is nothing to write home about but there are supermarkets here, adventurers best friends!

The day ended and the only adventure we got was an idiot driving a taxi. We need to do something. Khartum is probably the last safe place we are going to see. The other bigger cities ahead of us are probably going to be worse, so let's see what happens.

Day two:

Our local contact here, Mr Waheed sorted out a bike repair shop for me and off I went after a taxi. The repair area had all sorts of car and motorcycle repair shops but looked a bit like a scrapyard. The guys took a look at the problem and got to work. Amazing things can be done with a hammer a couple of blocks of 2*4 and a bit of rail. They straightened the box (which was bent) and made some new fasteners for it. Now the pannier is on more rigidly than it ever was. The operation took three hours and it was hot to just watch the guys work. The whole group also got a dinner invitation from Mr Pedro, but unfortunately other plans had been made elsewhere at the same time.

The pannier repair was well done, fast and no advance notice was needed. From an European viewpoint was very cheap. In Belgium you could not have done it by just showing up at a workshop and it would have cost you as much as the pannier was worth.

The whole repair experience showed that it is easy to get things done here; the people are very friendly and easygoing. Some people speak good English, but not everyone. Usually there are a lot of people around and everyone is interested where you are coming from and an English speaker will be produced from somewhere. While I waited, everyone around the garage was asking all sorts of questions and buying me tea. It may look a bit rough, but it's all right.

While you can read about the management of "official" Sudan from the newspapers, the ordinary people here have an undeserved bad reputation. Tourists would be very welcome here.

The others went on to find some beer (Becks non-alcoholic) and to a museum with some old things on display. In the evening some food and stocking up water for tomorrow's all-day sauna.

Passing through Dongola

2010-10-23T00:10:00.000-07:00

Place: Dongola

Tunes: AC/DC, Billy Idol, VNV Nation

Some scenery on the desert.

This is the Dongola sailing club.

Some damage from the incident.

Fixing the panniers. No time to even take the helmets off or someone is a bit too enthusiastic with the hammer.

Fixing some pointless little things here.

Some local villagers came to see what's going on.

Lots of friends in the corridor just waiting for you to fall asleep.

In its own way it was a difficult day to ride. Time slows down when you are driving at 40 plus degrees. We left early and it was indeed a good idea. The roads remain good and boring as we are driving through the desert. There is a beauty of sorts in the nothingness despite the plastic bags flying around and the stars would look so good at night with no clouds nor light pollution. The roadsides are much cleaner than in Egypt. Is this because the people do not litter or because there’s so little traffic, I do not know.

10-11h driving and then the usual hassle with parking at the hotel. Then registration at the police station where initially, the junior police guy did not really seem to know what to do with us and later a senior officer showed up and gave us the official mantra what to tell people about Sudan and what not to. This was a bit unnecessary as we all have eyes and a brain.

The time it took to travel a perfectly good road for 400km seems long, but if it was easy it would not be an adventure. I had a low-speed crash and as advertised on the front page, I am now considering ritual suicide.

Out of boredom a small excursion to a village on the side of the road was made and there was this sand road going there. On the way to said road there were bits of soft sand. Being fully competent in driving on soft sand, I did not go around, but went through. And through the windshield and the handlebars. The bike went one way and I went the other.

Most importantly, the reindeer antlers were spared. The left pannier took a bit of a beating and was bent and twisted in all sorts of directions.

The technical term for this was “low-speed crash” as the speed was so low that you steer the bike like a car, instead of counter-steering. Or is it even a crash if I am not actually on the bike when it falls down?

Sorting out the mess was interesting. It was over before I could even start to take pictures. People were all over the bike fixing this and that in no time and Pekka even produced a hammer to fix the pannier. That is standard kit in the GS 1200 Adventure I assume. We were back on the road in no time, which was good as it was very very hot.

An amateurish mistake which will not happen again, I assure you. The next time I just need to get a helicopter there to film it. And yes, I know, more throttle next time. I will repeat this when I do it next time.

Dongola is a boring place. The food on the street cafes was cooked on the street and this is why it did not look particularly safe to eat. Various bits of an unidentified fish deep fried were the only things that looked ok and some of it tasted ok.

We also met Nel from America (www.nelfinberg.com) who is also travelling all around Africa. He packs a bit lighter than us, which must be a benefit. Good luck man! Maybe we’ll see you somewhere.

Wadi Halfa

2010-10-22T23:58:00.000-07:00

Place: Wadi Halfa.

Tunes: No tunes whatsoever.

Our hotel room.

The mattress is well ventilated.

A local keeping us company at the restaurant.

We are in Sudan. The mayhem unloading the boat was restricted a bit by the Sudanese immigration guys who only had a limited amount of stamps on them, so they could not process people very fast. Our arrangements were sorted by our agent and we were spared most of the sweating. Customs and the other paperwork went through without too much hassle and we did some of it on the boat. Apparently it is not possible to get a visa here without a travel agent to sponsor you.

Wadi Halfa is a small place and there are not many hotels. No aircon but a fan that used to be a tail rotor in a helicopter. Nothing to do in town but count the flies.

We have had the same chicken and rice meal in Africa already for quite a few times, and the chicken here was definately ok. The locals seem to be content in sleeping and watching American movies.

Day two:

Today we went to wait in the sun as it was not hot enough at the
hotel. We needed to get some passport photos taken as you need your picture to get a permission to take pictures. Afterwards, we were also promptly raided by the police, who checked our permits.

The carnet's have still not been sorted but we should get them before the vehicles. We were told that the barge with the vehicles would arrive one day later than the passenger ferry. This would be today. But this is not the case anymore. The barge will arrive maybe tomorrow, maybe in a couple of days.

Apparently someone on the barge has just noticed that they can only proceed at daytime as the barge has no radar. Also, the vehicle barge, which is being pushed by the motorized barge thing, is slowing down the progress. I am sure that the ferry and port operators have never seen this situation before and it is normal not to know how things will work out in detail.

The only explanations we have heard so far are “Insallah” and “This is Africa”. Not only with this matter with the ferry but several times before too. Usually the former when the person knowing it that there is no way in hell something is going to happen as planned, and the latter when everything has been fucked up already. Convenient ways to push the responsibility away from you and allows you to make the same mistakes again and again.

In the evening we heard the news that the ferry has arrived but they will only unload in the morning.

Day three:

Got the bikes, went through customs after the big boss got there and have his most important nod to his staff. Bikes were inspected by customs and narcotics and we were on our way. The narcotics officer would have been arrested on sight anywhere in Europe as a dealer just for wearing those sunglasses. Man, he looked like a guy who knows his drugs.

The brand new tarmac road in front of us had been laid by the Chinese not long ago. You could have played pool on it, it was that smooth. Untill recently the only option was an old sand road not in a very good condition. Considering my off-road experience, this was a relief as wrestling with the bike in 40 degrees was not something I was looking forward to.

The ride through the desert was not eventful and there is virtually no traffic on it. Whoever was in charge of traffic signs here seemed to have a sense of humour. There were "sharp corner ahead" signs where you could see a straight road stretching to the horizon in front of you and no sign when you actually did reach a corner.

Ferry to Sudan

2010-10-13T05:36:00.000-07:00

Place: On the lake Nasser.

Tunes: Shouting from the levels below.

Outside the port. There were dozens of people there trying to get in as porters.

And inside the gates waiting to be inspected by the police.

More running around Aswan, starting at the traffic police place we already visited once. We unfortumately had to give up all of our documents and the beautiful Arabic licence plates. Then waiting and waiting and suddenly someone told us to follow his car to the terminal and left.

I think one person might have gotten their helmet on as he already disappeared. Fantastic! He made a second round afterwards and all of us (9 bikes, one Land Rover and one VW Minibus) followed him to the harbor. He was not even racing? What the hell is this? And where are the German dudes?

In the port there was a bit of a crowd outside the gates trying to get in. People are desperate for work and as the ferries are all loaded by hand, they need porters (or is it "loaders"?). In any case, they need a lot of people but there's yet even more supply than demand.

We then had to pay some questionable fees to some random officials for reasons that could not be explained in English. We also paid the police to come out of his office and to check our bikes for weapons. He had to be paid as otherwise it might have taken hours and hours for this guy to come out of his office to do his job. The other overlanders did not pay and got through just as fast as the policeman was there. Did we pay unnecessarily, probably but we’ll never know. We had all day, but I would rather spend that day in the cabin than out in the sun.

And of course there were the formalities of getting out of the country. It turned out to be much easier than getting in.

Despite all this running around with little bits of paper collecting stamps and throwing money around, this place at least seemed organized in some way. There is no public allowed inside the port, so the parasites stay out. Of course the staff will try to change money etc, but it could be a lot worse as someone will always tell you where to go next. Some of the senior officials with the stamps have turned the act of stamping a paper into performance art. It was good to have a laugh with them.

The whole process took hours of course and finally we got cleared to go to the boat. In total, we must have spent 10-12 hours doing various bits of paperwork to get in or out of Egypt and running around in different offices. It is organized but there is such a ridiculous amount of completely pointless things that you have to do and to fill out that it defies belief.

The loading of the boat was another circus as expected but we were not involved. The whole boat was packed full of all sorts of shit you can think of though this one tiny opening with everyone trying to force themselves through it simultaneously. The passenger and the cargo ferry were already packed when we got there, and completely covered with busy people packing more stuff in. Surely that ferry will sink if you load it more? It did not and there was a constant flow of people into the ferry and out to pack in yet more stuff.

Loading the cars and bikes to this extra barge thing they called was simple, but when will we see the ferry again, time will tell.

On hindsight, I don’t think I will come again to Egypt. I have heard that there are pictures of the pyramids in the internet. I simply do not want my money to support a system like this. It is less stressful to have a holiday when you do not have to get into an inch from a fistfight to get out of a shop after saying “no” for 56 times or to spend 10 minutes “negotiating” with someone to buy a can of sardines. I do not want to come to a place where ripping tourists off is a national sport. I do not want to give my money to the local police just because they want it. All of this of course makes Egypt more adventurous, but it's not a place for me.

The people – outside all sorts of official or business situations – were friendly and warm, but we do not have any time for this kind of touchy feely hippie crap, like talking to anyone. Others can write about how excellent it all was in that wonderful place.

I want one of these!

Other overlanders are of course an exception as they are dealing with the same BS we are. In the traffic police office thing in Aswan we met the couple from Sweden and the two guys (father and son) from Antwerp that we came across before. Also, a Swiss guy going to Cape town solo was there. The Belgians have a properly pimped up Land Rover and we are all jealous. The Swedish VW Caravelle is not as manly, but it probably has aircon. The big Swiss BMW needs some stickers. Otherwise it just won’t look right.

http://beyondthehorizon.be/
http://swedenafrica.blogspot.com/

Even adventure travelers need to rest and you must do so in the most manly way possible. It is not allowed to set up a hammock on the deck, so we must take the other extreme and we have some 1st class cabins with air conditioning. I love air conditioning.

There is however only the on/off switch in this phone-booth sized unit and the cabin is freezing after a while. So, you sweat or
freeze. Of course, we froze as this is more manly than sweating.

The  Saagalnaam was originally registered for 300 passengers, but now there  is an extra thousand people on top of that. Inside it was like inside a sardine can except without the tomato sauce. The third class  looked like something from a book written by Dante, the second one was  not far off and the first one (which actually had beds) was a relief.  

There's something wrong with this picture, or that is a very small man.

A box with legs!

The cargo ferry was packed pretty full. More stuff was piled on top of this stuff. Everything by hand.

More packing chaos. I wonder if they will just throw the bikes on top of this pile.

During the loading, the chaos also inside the ferry is really something quite special. There was a constant flow of luggage going into the boat. Suitcases, big boxes, sacks, anything you can think of short of livestock were going in. It is piled in the rooms, corridors and whatever empty space there might be available. This is going to be one cramped boat.

The food on the boat was a bit of a lottery. If you were hungry, you could get some rice and chicken when you first got onboard, but that run out quickly. Afterwards, Gordon Ramsey arrived with a helicopter to prepare us some delicious bread freshly made somewhere, jam that must have been bought from Harrods, locally sourced soft cheese, home-made crisps and a beautiful bean soup.

The beans were really the star of the show. After Gordon flew away, one of the staff secretly told us the recipe. You take some dry beans and water. You boil the beans in the water untill they get soft. Wait until the soup gets lukewarm and serve immediately.

Peter got lucky with his food.

This is the escape plan. Or it could be a map to the disco?

Disco inferno

2010-10-10T11:54:00.000-07:00

Place: Aswan.

Tunes: Constant honking in the background. Seventies disco if I had a choice. The disco lights were there.

Today, early start and directly into the Nubian Desert. Some nice mountain roads, but no joy there as you cannot really race with the knobblies. The road tire gang disappeared and went their own way pretty soon as is the norm. The drive through the desert was uninteresting to say the least and fighting sleep was the biggest challenge in the heat.

After finally making it to Luxor we drove straight to Karnak and hired a guy with no teeth to tell us something about this place. After the desert, dehydration and lack of breakfast, a walk in the mid-day sun did not really seem like a great idea but it was not too bad and the tour was actually pretty good. The rip-off prices at the restaurant after the tour and in the pharmacy were not. Again you felt really welcome to visit here.

The big hall in Karnak with dozens of huge pillars all covered in hieroglyphs that has been there for a crazy amount of time was the most impressive place of all.

South of Luxor everything changed. Historically, the southern kingdom has always been more “African” and the north kingdom more “Middle Eastern” and this is definitely how we experienced it. Modern Egypt consists of these two kingdoms and was united by this Ramses II dude some years ago.

The Luxor-Aswan ride was the most insane so far. Syria or the Lebanon were civilised in comparison to this place.

It is difficult to describ what it was like. Anarchy, chaos and complete disregard for anyone or anything but yourself was the norm. You don't have to stay on any particular lane for starters. You just go where and when you feel like going. If someone else is in your way then it's their problem.

Half of the cars we saw use lights at full beam or flash them randomly. The other use no lights at all. Some have lights flashing in different colours. And of course the indicators are just as random The result is that you feel like you are in a disco. Some Bee Gees in the ipod and I could have gotten into the groove and joined in.

The safety distances between cars and us are measured in centimetres and we had several near misses. It is really difficult to describe how chaotic it was. No-one tries to predict anything at all, ever. I tried to look at the people flashing their lights, but I only saw a dozen waving hands through the windshield, I did not see the driver and it would have been impossible for him to see out as there must have been like five kids stuck on the front seats. One of them was probabaly driving.

And then the buses. These are the very same ones that the package holiday-goers travel with. They are essentially like trains. They go just as fast and they slow down just as easily. If you are in front of them, you'd better move aside and stay well clear as they really try very hard not to change the lane as they overtake anyone. And of course they drive as fast as the bus goes. Everywhere. Does not matter if it's a village or open highway.

The minibuses naturally try to imitate this but rarely succeed as they are usually packed with about 58 people inside the 25 year old rust-raped Hiace with an engine from a moped.

What is the most ridiculous thing about all of it is that it is completely unnecessary. The same jihad-hiace must have overtaken us with risk to life and limb about seven times to get to the next bus stop 20 seconds faster, only to do it again and again… 
In summary, again we saw people drive their cars pretty much like we ride our bikes.

This arrogance and unnecessary agression and recklessness is the norm also with pedestrians. You may have heavy traffic around you but you do not look where the cars are or if they are stopping, you just walk whereever you feel like walking. And if a car nearly hits you, you are completely justified to go start shouting at the driver even if the near miss was completely your fault. Are these people deaf and blind?

The roadside is where people hang out in the villages and towns. I guess nothing else is happening anywhere else. This might sound quaint, but is not.

In Aswan we decided to send the only person who had any idea where the hotel might be ahead into town. After waiting for a while the rest of us followed and tried to find him (and the hotel). Exciting!

We make up games like this to make all of this less boring as the drive to Aswan was not eventful enough. Only amateurs drive straight to the hotel door without doing a thorough reconnaissance around the immediate environment.

The hotel was a considerable improvement to the previous ... place. There we met two German dudes, who had two KTM ex-military off-road bikes, light loads and six months to Cape town. Sounds like a sensible plan. Not something for us.

Day two was easy. Only around 4 hours in the heat running around town from counter to counter doing some completely pointless paperwork that could have been done for us. Some of these stops were not even in the right office. The right office was the two shady looking charachters in the side of the road in front of some apartment building. They had two little stools and big pile of forms and a stamp. They wanted our papers and money and two hours later we got some more papers. Apparently you need a certificate that you have not been in traffic accedents in the country before they let you out.

One interesting stop was at another police (?) station where we tried to ask this young officer where we should go. He accepted the mission and briskly ushered us through many buildings and offices all the way to the big cheese police officer. He looked very surprised to see this bunch of bikers in his room and demanded an explanation. As we asked him precisely what we asked the young officer, he promptly threw us out and gave the young guy a quite severe stare.

-What?
-Nothing.
-What?
-Nothing.
-Why are you here?
-We don't know. He brought us here.
-Get out!

After all the formalities were over it was time for truly international food at the MacDonalds restaurant and a day trip to the fancy hotel across the river for some ice-cream and drinks. The MacDonalds minute maid orange juice has never tasted so good. They must have laced it with something, it has really never ever tasted this good.

We also have stocked up on water and sardines. Fighting the merchants at the bazaar was again a pain in the ass. Buying even the simplest thing takes half a day. Someone even offered cannabis to us. Did not expect that in a Muslim country.

You actually have to fight the merchants who grab your person and drag you to their shop. You can ask them do you have this or that and they always say yes "we will get it for you" regardless if you ask for some suspenders or a space shuttle. When they cannot provide you with whatever it is that you needed, they will not let you leave. You have to force yourself out of their shops. And then they run after you and try to continue their pathetic sales pitch as you are walking further and further away pretending to be really offended and hurt when you say for the twenty-seventh time "I will not buy anything from you. Not now, not ever." Are they really that desperate or just bored?

Laundry was taken care of too and I finally decided to do something about this stomach bug I have had for two weeks. No beer for me for the next three weeks then, but we are heading to Sudan tomorrow, so no beer for anyone.

Back to the USSR

2010-10-10T11:28:00.000-07:00

Place: Hurghuda

Tunes: Underworld, VNV Nation

Ha! We made it to Africa.

The drive today went as normal. There was one puncture that had to be changed alone in the 35 degree sun as the group was spread out in three parts along a 100km stretch of road and petrol was running out. We all ended up in the same hotel in the end. This is normal day-to-day driving, so there is no need to report it further.

All roads in Egypt appear to be built through junkyards (and elsewhere in the Middle East as well in my experience so far). Apart from the usual roadside litter, which there is a lot of and is never cleaned up, there is household and construction waste just dumped out further (not far) out from the roads. It is perfectly normal here to dump a truckload of broken toilet seats or a dead horse rotting in the sun on the side of the road.

Every Egyptian I have bought something from today tried to cheat money from me today. Without exception. This has been pretty much the theme of the day for everyone else as well. One example was provided by the traffic police. We were stopped at a portable checkpoint and the police wanted to issue us some fines to be paid in cash there and then. Apparently we had been speeding. How did they know this? The police, being experts in two cylinder Rotax engines and obvious BMW enthusiasts, determined that our bikes made so much noise that we must have been speeding. Just how fucking pathetic is that? Being professional adventure motorcyclists, we promptly told them to fuck off and went on our merry way leaving the police looking a bit sad.

Parking the bikes at the resort was an incredible hassle and we had to leave our driving licences to some parking attendant with a dozen random kids playing with our bikes with said attendant not lifting a fucking finger to chase the kids away. Eventually the bikes ended up on a construction waste dump site next to the hotel. Or it could have actually been a construction site started some decades ago.

The holiday resorts have been going down in quality gradually. Getting to your room takes forever as there are no signs anywhere, so finding your room is impossible. You always have to wait for some greedy little bastard to carry your bags to your room waiting for a tip, as they are the only ones who know where the room is. Even if you go to the reception and ask with no uncertain tones, they will not tell you and you must wait for the greedy little bastard. Good service or a crime against humanity?

There was a huge Russian guy with some kind of a problem at the reception trying to sort it out with the staff as we finished checking in. Nothing was really happening and the guy was a bit pissed off giving the staff pretty hard time. He was also so drunk that he could not even stay on his feet. Whatever staff there was hanging around the reception clearly was not enjoying the situation. Considering the shit we got from them, I felt that there is actually a god and he sent this Russian angel to avenge us.

This particular place is apparently full of Russians and the quality of this place is something they must be used to and so are we - reluctantly. It was like taking a time machine. The state of the place was a joke. It must have been built at least 40 years ago and in true Egyptian fashion, once it’s made, you don’t maintain or clean it up in any way. The staff as a whole was trying, but was not really up to the task in attitude or training. I don’t think the Russian’s noticed.

It took two and a half hours to get towels to the room and as the phone never worked you had to run to the reception to ask for the towels, repeatedly. Ordering drinks at the bar was a big hassle as no-one seemed to know how much a beer would cost even if the bar was full of people just standing there like limp dicks. Here, it takes at least three people to do even the simplest thing, like opening a beer bottle.

Day two has been a maintenance day. Tire changes and basic maintenance. Knobblies for me and oil and oil filter changes all around. We had some help from Kimmo who has lived here for some time. He sorted out a the places where we could do these things very easily and the company he uses all the time did the actual tire changing. He also arranged a proper meal for us this evening instead of the buffet dinner thing they serve at the resort. He also arranged some Egyptian stickers for us!

The tourist part of town was very polarised. You had nice modern chill-out places on the seaside (where “authentic” Mohito’s contain vodka, not white rum) where you could spend an evening or two and on the other hand, the shopping street where you cannot take ten paces without trying to forcibly sell you some shit you could not care less about or to steal your wallet.

Some desert

2010-10-10T10:52:00.000-07:00

Place: New Moon resort, South or Suez city.

Tunes: More Underworld.

Easy driving amongst the mountains and on the Sinai desert (if that’s it was). Late departure after most of us had a bit of a swim in the seaside resort we were staying in. The owner recommended a longer route we were originally going to take and promised that this road was the best in Egypt. He was right. Desert, cliffs, mountains, good asphalt and not a lot of traffic.

Roadblocks are something that started appearing on the road in Syria and break the rhythm every 20 minutes or so. Why these things exist, I have no idea of. They seem completely pointless. I have to assume that they exist to remind everyone on a regular basis of who is in charge and to give the soldiers opportunities to extract some extra cash from people to supplement their piss-poor salaries.

A basic check-point consists of a man with a gun, some barrels and possibly a traffic cone. More elaborate ones will have an additional man that has a mobile telephone in his hand and if you are in Syria or Jordan, also another man may be standing on the back of a pickup truck equipped with a 7.62mm or .50cal machine gun. If you go more and more fancy, you may have concrete obstacles, a booth with a second man speaking to the first man with a mobile and any number of “hangaround” people in various uniforms and vests. In Egypt, you can replace the pick-up guy with another guy standing in the shade with a Mossberg 500 shotgun (or a locally made piss-poor copy).

One idiot with a van tried to push me off the road today on the best road in Egypt. I was so much into the music and riding the bike at that point that I simply reacted and dodged is murderous manouvers "in a natural way" as some might say, without any thought and almost without noticing it.

If I had been listening to the lawn-mower tune of the bike, I probably would have shat myself as I saw the van get closer and closer and shown the driver every international hand gesture I know. Whatever the situation was, a 9mm semiautomatic pistol should be standard equipment for adventure travel and it should have been used today to put that fucking muppet away.

The Red Sea coast seems to be full of abandoned construction projects. Huge seaside resorts and apartment buildings. I guess the Sheiks run out of cash even in Dubai.

The rest of the day was not that eventful and we made it to the next hotel in good time. This place was much less nice than the previous in every way and had definately seen better days.

Welcome to Egypt

2010-10-10T10:49:00.000-07:00

Place: Nuweiba or thereabouts

Tunes: Whatever shit they play on the radio in Egypt. Lots of singing about a dude called “habibi”.

This day was a bit different. Not much driving, but a refreshing sea voyage instead. We were at the port at nine in the morning with a 13:00 departure. Normal hassles to get all of the paperwork sorted to exit Jordan. Lots of confusion about where to go and some wankers in uniform were playing around with our carnets not wanting to stamp them as they clearly had nothing else to do. Many monies were also spent just to get out of the country. You need to buy a form to apply for a permission to exit the country. And after filling the form, you return it to the next counter where you pay some more to get it stamped. After this you get a reciept that is inspected on a third counter. Still, all in all, Syria was much worse.

The ferry loading took at least one hour. In similar ferries in Europe it usually takes 20 minutes, but in Europe we do not have all of the papers, stamps, shouting and general chaos than what they have here. We must be doing something wrong in Europe as it's much more lively in here.

The ferry ride took an hour and they served the most pathetic chicken burger I have ever seen and they turned the aircon off - only in the restaurant where all of the foreigners were. Nice! We also met a Saudi motorist with a tuned up R6. Brave man. It was also an interesting discovery that this very same boat used to be a ferry between Helsinki and Tallin in Estonia. This was easy to determine as no-one had bothered to remove any of the signs in Estonian, Finnish and English.

Unloading took another hour and a half for no apparent reason and then we got to the terminal area. It looked much better than some of the borders we have been to with a degree of organisation about it and we were spotted by the tourist police, who are supposed to help out foreigners. This looks promising.

The pleasant formalities took five (5) hours after we got out of the ferry. The veterans of the transamerican trip last year said that they never saw anything this bad on that trip.

We went to immigration, got visas, got various permits to import a vehicle, vehicle registration, driving licences, insurances, licence plates and allah only knows whatever the fuck else. In total about 20 pieces of paper, countless hand-filled entries to said bits of paper and many many stamps. And money.

Interestingly, all of these papers stayed inside the port apart from our new licence plates in Arabic, the associated registration paper and our new Egyptian driving licences with no picture and of which we cannot read one word. Like in the Lebanon and Syria, it would be interesting to see how much of this circus is just plain theft by men in uniforms.

Of course all of the Arabs were trying to get past us in all of the queues and some just marched into the offices behind the counter as our turtle defence is getting pretty inpenetrable. The officials seemed to be completely uninterested in stopping them and served them as this is business as usual. Try that in with Finnish customs and you will get shot.

Our police friend seemed to be happy just doing in the hours and only pointed us to the next counter. Only one guy behind a counter took our papers in and did not let any others push their papers on top of the pile. I am not saying that the tourist police did not do his job, but he was not particularly efficient with it.

Also, at the end of it all we were wandering, if we should leave a tip or not, but as this guy is a government official doing his job, we should not have to give him one penny. And he should not take it even if we would offer it but instead he might throw us in jail for bribery. Many more forms to fill I am sure if you have to go to jail in Egypt. We did not give him anything and he did not ask for anything, but he did look a bit disappointed when we left ...

... to get to another check of all of the papers and stamps we just got in the port 50 meters away by some different police officers before they actually let us out into Egypt.

All of this makes you feel really welcome to this country.

After some sightseeing in the port town in the usual style, we got to the seaside resort, which was most nice and excellent. A big seafood dinner was arranged and everybody pretty much passed out after the meal.

All in all, it was a normal day. Technically, we are still in Asia, as Africa begins after the Suez canal, so I am sure that Egypt will apply for membership in the EU some time soon.

Tourism in Petra

2010-10-04T13:47:00.000-07:00

Place: Akaba/Petra  

Tunes: Camels protesting whatever 8 year old kids were asking them to do for the amusement of tourists.

Tourism! Not  adventuring today. We took a minibus/taxi  thing to Petra and went to have a stroll in the pleasant heat and sunshine. One  of the seven wonders of the world looked like it does in the pictures  and is sufficiently impressive. The whole city takes forever to see and  we did not do all of it as this would not be in the spirit of this  adventure.

In the city there apparetly is a monastery of some sort but you need to climb like 800 steps of stairs if you want to get there. The closer you got to the monastery the bigger the number got. "Mister mister, better take a donkey, 1000 steps."

We were dissapointed for not being able to ride through it and stopping  just to take some pictures with the engine running. One interesting  feature about the statues in Petra was that they were damaged badly by  2000 years of erosion, not by man. The eroded canyon that you walk through to get in was almost as impressive as the treasury (the thing cut into the cliff wall that you see in all of the pictures). 

There was riding available though, horse,  donkey or camel with little kids pestering you constantly. Idiots, go to  school. They should know that we only ride motorbikes designed by  German motorcycle engineers. Except Teijo, but as the Honda has no mechanical prolems and you cannot even drop it, he deservs some nagging about it. No lame ass donkey's for  us. Pun intended.
 
The path to the ancient city.

You can almost see the treasury.

This is the main thing to see, but there is much much more. Guess why my regard to the police here has not improved. 

More spectacular canyons.

Me on the way to Petra.

After having to do all of that tourism without riding the bike a reward is in order. Mango ice-cream juice thing and a cold beer. Bliss.

Other crazy overlanders! We met Elizabeth and Jason briefly at a bus stop thing. See http://birthfromthebackseat.blogspot.com/ for their story. Good luck!

The bedroom origami is getting more and more impressive.

The place was pretty busy with tourists and it is the main tourist resort of the country. In Petra there are a lot of people trying to sell you something. If you are old enough to walk or talk, you will try to sell something to a tourist. This is quite shocking to see and does not feel good. It is clear that the parents of these toddlers are hoping that the kids will make money purely because of pity. 
 
We finished off the Petra tour with some coolers and beer at the Mövempick hotel ice-cream bar. Very tasty and not as expensive as one would expect.

A western woman who has worked here told up something of the reality of the pricing in here and apparently we have been ripped off pretty much everywhere paying about double or more of what the locals do. Nothing has a price tag, so the price is determined by how much the merchant thinks he can get away with. This is the case everywhere we have been to so far.

I can also mention the exception that makes the rule. I got some eyedrops from a pharmacy and the pharmacist charged me precisely what was in the price-tag of the box. And we saw for the first time an actual Jordanian cash register reciept (in a restaurant where the expat told us to go).  I have a feeling that this is just the beginning. I plan to spend zero money in the Middle East from now on.

First night in Jordan

2010-10-02T08:35:00.001-07:00

Place: Somewhere in Jordan

Tunes: Underworld

Pekka and some towels.

The driving in Jordan is much more sensible than in Syria or the Lebanon. People stay on the right lane and have a sense of self preservation. And in general are more interested in smooth traffic than "winning" something. So far, Jordan feels much better than those two countries from this quite unusual viewpoint.

The border crossing to Jordan was another rip-off with lots of random running around chasing for stamps. I got cheated by this customs guy who “forgot” in ten seconds that I gave him ten local currencies already. It is interesting how the border formalities in Syria vary completely depending on where you cross over. Different forms to fill, different prices, different circus. It would be nice to know how it all really works. Who pays who how and much “unofficially”.

It was an easy day all in all apart from the temperature which was knocking around 38 degrees. Slow traffic was murder in that heat, but most of the time we could stay moving. At 100 kph the wind kept things just about bearable. We are using a lot of water and one has to stock up on the local nuts. They are so salty that it feels like you have a bee stinging you in your mouth, but you need to take in your salt too. Chocolate is available in some places and is always kept in fridges. Chocolate is good.

Some food in 30 minutes from now and then equipment maintenance. The internet is slow today, so no pictures for the recent posts. At least the management has not decided to censor anything I have come across so far.

Tomorrow, the Dead Sea and Petra, where we will park straight in front of the famous church thing no doubt.

Back to Syria

2010-10-02T08:09:00.000-07:00

Place: Damascus.

Tunes: None, as you need no distractions while playing Russian roulette in the Lebanese traffic.

You can see on top of the clouds from the tower.

Note the black tapes.

If you dring Playboy energy drink you will be cool and successful, just like him.

It was a short driving day and surprisingly easy. We are getting used to the traffic and apart from the normal near misses, there was no major drama. Also, there was something like 120km to go to Damascus, no more.

The hotel in Damascus was great but getting the bikes in a safe parking place was a bit of a chore.

Wrestling with the bikes in Damascus.

Hotel lobby, before we ruined it.

The walls and ceilings were covered in details like this. Very impressive.

Lenin, The Leader and Markus having a welcome drink.

Apparently this place (Damascus, not the hotel) has a bad reputation but so far it has been ok apart from a taxi driver that tried to rip us off. We agreed the price before we started so he did not have too much to argue with. Tosser!

This city is probably one of the oldest on the planet. We saw some old ruins and went to a bazaar/shopping street that has been just that since money was invented. The local food is interesting and nothing is quite like you expect it to be. There are some very good (soft) drinks available here with lime and mint and copious amounts of sugar. Even beer was for sale. So, far not bad.

The border crossing was a complete circus on the Lebanese side, but at least it was a lot easier to get out than to get in. On the Syrian side, you had actually something organized with people in uniforms and they were actually doing something to keep it organised. They still put all of the papers of the locals on top of ours at every booth and everyone tries to force themselves in front of us in the ques. We have developed this turtle defence thing to fend off the natives so that we can actually get our shit sorted. It resulted in some sad faces and we actually saw some locals queue behind us for the first time. One of us will probably get stabbed at one of these crossings.

The thing that took the longest on the Syrian border was to sort out how much extra we had to pay to the customs officials for filling out our carnet’s – which is their job. It’s great to be a tourist when everyone is trying to steal from you.

In between the two borders, there was a massive tax-free shop. Arabs in long traditional robes were buying crates whiskey like there was no tomorrow. Apparently not everyone here is a fundamentalist muslim.

The Leader (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bashar_al-Assad) has decided that blogspot is a waste of time, so it is censored. So, these entries have to wait further. We'll see what happens in Jordan.