The Bike

It is a BMW GS 800.

BMW F 800 GS in the dealer’s showroom.

BMW F 800 GS in real life.

I tried the big Adventure and it was too big, heavy and expensive. I tried a KTM 990 Supermoto T, but it did not feel that special, the BMW was more fun. I did not have to try the KTM adventure as it looks hideous and it’s too big. The 800 is the best of the lot I think and it seems to have a good reputation.

Real Men would use a BMW R75 with a sidecar.

Other kit:

• Panniers - Touratech 41 liters. I need a “WIDE LOAD” sign on the bike. If it was any wider, I would need a pilot’s license for this thing.
  
• Top box - Caribou case, thirty something liters. And it's yellow.
  
• Crash bars and bash plate - Adventure spec.
• Adjustable Screen - Wunderlich (the adjustment mechanism is one big joke).
  
• Headlight protector - Wunderlich (identical with a similar Touratech product).
• Tank bag – Bags connect enduro.
  
• Tank "saddle bags" - Wolfman luggage. Attached to the crash bars. Also yellow.

The seat is still a stock seat and it probably should be changed. All the options are expensive but what would a man not do for his ass. The 20 Euro sheepskin cover from Ikea will probably not survive for very long.

Also, the stock exhaust sounds like a cement mixer. Unless I want to numb my brain with that noise for ten weeks, I should do something about it.

All in all, it’s maybe a bit too much. People have done "something like this" with so much less. The more volume you can carry on the bike, the more shit (and more weight) you will inevitably carry. This is not necessarily a good thing.

The Plan

Yes, it's another blog about overland travel on two wheels.

The purpose of this blog is to help you fall asleep during a long day at the office and share some of the experiences on the road from Nordkapp to Cape Town. If you want entertainment, and hardcore stories from the road, go and read the KCCD blog. Those guys are the real deal.

The idea of doing “something like this” started a few years ago when I was in Leeds and some students there went on to do the Mongol Rally. I did not go, but the travel bug grew and prospered in my head like a parasite. After reading numerous travel stories, blogs etc. the final decision to do "something like this" was made after reading the Madventures* adventure travel guide. The Peter Pan Bike website did the rest. Now that essentially all the preparations are done, I am broke, not going to see my girlfriend for three months, not going to get paid for the next three months, in debt and way in over my head with this. Fuck you Madventures!

* Madventures (http://www.madventures.tv/en/index.php) is two guys travelling around the world a zillion times over and filming all sorts of crazy shit along the way. They also made this travel guide (only in Finnish) that is pretty damn good.

Ok, what's the plan. As you can see from the map, it's pretty simple. Drive from the northernmost point of continental Europe to the southernmost point of Africa. The route is about 20.000 km and should take about ten weeks to ride.

The route. Copyright Peter Pan Bike, used with permission.

The beginning will be easy going apart from potentially freezing to death before even getting out of Norway and getting bored to death driving through Sweden. Going through Eastern Europe should be more eventful and yes, we will be going through the Transfăgărăşan road (I can’t be arsed to put a link here), which should be fun.

The Middle East should be even better with some phenomenal roads and stuff to see. Let’s hope the Americans can restrain themselves from starting new wars in the region for a little bit longer.The route in Africa follows some common routes overland travellers doing the Cairo to Cape Town thing follow and purely coincidentally (yes, really) this is also very close to the route that the two British actors who will not be named** in this Blog took some years ago. Or maybe there just are not that many routes to take...

** Not that these actors are not well’ard, but all of the other travel blogs slag them off, so I feel I must also. I really don’t know why.

Because of this constant flow of tourists on two wheels, the western tourists every whim will be catered for. One will be handed an ice-cold lemonade every time one stops by a waiter of some sort, no matter where you stop. I am sure that the accommodation will definitely made of something else than cow shit, the food will be prepared by Gordon *%&#king Ramsay and that the general level of hygiene will be maintained by men in white uniforms. The roads will vary from silky smooth asphalt to a ditch filled with mud and I am sure I will not have the least bit of trouble. If I fall even once, I will commit harakiri for being a failure as a motorcyclist. I will only use off-road tyres because of peer pressure. The countries that we will go through are prime examples of good and fair governance and there is no history of political or religious unrest anywhere near where we will be going.

So, in conclusion it will be a walk in the park, no worse than your Sunday drive around the block to Starbucks in a brand new GS 1200 Adventure.