Back to the USSR

Place: Hurghuda

Tunes: Underworld, VNV Nation

Ha! We made it to Africa.

The drive today went as normal. There was one puncture that had to be changed alone in the 35 degree sun as the group was spread out in three parts along a 100km stretch of road and petrol was running out. We all ended up in the same hotel in the end. This is normal day-to-day driving, so there is no need to report it further.

All roads in Egypt appear to be built through junkyards (and elsewhere in the Middle East as well in my experience so far). Apart from the usual roadside litter, which there is a lot of and is never cleaned up, there is household and construction waste just dumped out further (not far) out from the roads. It is perfectly normal here to dump a truckload of broken toilet seats or a dead horse rotting in the sun on the side of the road.

Every Egyptian I have bought something from today tried to cheat money from me today. Without exception. This has been pretty much the theme of the day for everyone else as well. One example was provided by the traffic police. We were stopped at a portable checkpoint and the police wanted to issue us some fines to be paid in cash there and then. Apparently we had been speeding. How did they know this? The police, being experts in two cylinder Rotax engines and obvious BMW enthusiasts, determined that our bikes made so much noise that we must have been speeding. Just how fucking pathetic is that? Being professional adventure motorcyclists, we promptly told them to fuck off and went on our merry way leaving the police looking a bit sad.

Parking the bikes at the resort was an incredible hassle and we had to leave our driving licences to some parking attendant with a dozen random kids playing with our bikes with said attendant not lifting a fucking finger to chase the kids away. Eventually the bikes ended up on a construction waste dump site next to the hotel. Or it could have actually been a construction site started some decades ago. 


The holiday resorts have been going down in quality gradually. Getting to your room takes forever as there are no signs anywhere, so finding your room is impossible. You always have to wait for some greedy little bastard to carry your bags to your room waiting for a tip, as they are the only ones who know where the room is. Even if you go to the reception and ask with no uncertain tones, they will not tell you and you must wait for the greedy little bastard. Good service or a crime against humanity?

There was a huge Russian guy with some kind of a problem at the reception trying to sort it out with the staff as we finished checking in. Nothing was really happening and the guy was a bit pissed off giving the staff pretty hard time. He was also so drunk that he could not even stay on his feet. Whatever staff there was hanging around the reception clearly was not enjoying the situation. Considering the shit we got from them, I felt that there is actually a god and he sent this Russian angel to avenge us.

This particular place is apparently full of Russians and the quality of this place is something they must be used to and so are we - reluctantly. It was like taking a time machine. The state of the place was a joke. It must have been built at least 40 years ago and in true Egyptian fashion, once it’s made, you don’t maintain or clean it up in any way. The staff as a whole was trying, but was not really up to the task in attitude or training. I don’t think the Russian’s noticed.
 
It took two and a half hours to get towels to the room and as the phone never worked you had to run to the reception to ask for the towels, repeatedly. Ordering drinks at the bar was a big hassle as no-one seemed to know how much a beer would cost even if the bar was full of people just standing there like limp dicks. Here, it takes at least three people to do even the simplest thing, like opening a beer bottle.

Day two has been a maintenance day. Tire changes and basic maintenance. Knobblies for me and oil and oil filter changes all around. We had some help from Kimmo who has lived here for some time. He sorted out a the places where we could do these things very easily and the company he uses all the time did the actual tire changing. He also arranged a proper meal for us this evening instead of the buffet dinner thing they serve at the resort. He also arranged some Egyptian stickers for us!

The tourist part of town was very polarised. You had nice modern chill-out places on the seaside (where “authentic” Mohito’s contain vodka, not white rum) where you could spend an evening or two and on the other hand, the shopping street where you cannot take ten paces without trying to forcibly sell you some shit you could not care less about or to steal your wallet.